shameful

i've come to the realization that the older i get, the more irresponsible i am about saving money. my credit card bills this month totalled $1800. not really a lot compared to some people still a lot when you consider that i don't really have anything to show for it. i looked at one of my statements - tangibles included shoes and some clothes but probably only a grand total of maybe...MAYBE $500. the rest is eating out...eating out...transportation...and eating out. and my savings is practically non-existent, if you don't include my rather pathetic excuse for an RRSP.

where did i go wrong? the year i decided to buy a car, i was able to save up almost $10,000 in under a year. why am i barely scraping by now?

so, i've done up a budget for myself. for the next couple of months, it will be hard to stick to it as it is the holiday season and, let's face it, i'll need a couple of months to pay off my current credit card bills and replenish the savings i'm going to have to dig into in order to do so. i'm a terrible person. i'm a frivolous person. wasteful. i'm truly ashamed of myself right now.

last weekend alone i spent almost $600. i got my car serviced ($200), my hair cut and highlighted ($180) and got a new pair of eyeglasses ($440 - $200 from insurance). and last week was when i decided i needed to "cut down".

the first thing i need to cut down on is how much i eat out - it's ridiculous. if i want to visit with friends, i should either go for coffee or have dinner parties. potluck dinner parties.

for some reason, i can control my shopping for clothes and toys - i just have to stay out of the mall. but food...ah, food. i use it as a basis for everything - socializing, business, comfort. must stop eating out. after tomorrow.

ah, the mañana budget...