it all began (again) when i was debating with myself whether to get out of the online dating circle again. i've been doing it for a good two months this time around and it's yielded two or three potentials, one casualty and a lot of doubts about whether it is the right thing to do. one the one hand, who's to say that meeting someone online is any better or any worse than meeting someone at a bar? personally, i'm just as hesitant to advertise that the guy i'm interested in was the result of a bar pickup as i would be if i had met him on a dating website. in fact, i think the dating website is much more logical than meeting a drunk guy at the pub. but then i think, "is love supposed to be logical?"
i love the idea of online dating because it's organized and it cuts out a lot of the usual malarky that goes along with "getting to know someone". you put up a profile and tell potential dates about what you're looking for. if they don't measure up, they shouldn't even try. if they do try but don't get a response, they shouldn't be surprised. you tell them about yourself and they can determine whether you are what they are looking for. then you meet for coffee and determine whether there is any real chemistry. and it goes from there. simple, eh?
but it hasn't turned out to be simple. i've spent so much time wondering what i was doing wrong - i was "meeting" all of these great-on-paper guys that looked great in person but there were no sparks. not even a flicker. and then it occurred to me: perhaps it's not working because it's just not happening the way it's supposed to. you know, "naturally".
i subscribe to many schools of thought about how men and women should get together. the romantic in me thinks that it should all happen "when it happens". you know - the stolen glance across the bread aisle at Safeway, the shy smiles exchanged in the elevator on the way to work, that sort of thing. the realist in me knows that Mr. Right isn't going to come knocking at my door (although there was a cute FedEx guy that came to my door a little while ago...but i digress) and that i have to take some initiative to find a date. since my friends are either single and looking or married and only hang out with other married people (or, they say they're going to set me up with "this great guy at the office" but they never do), i can't really depend on someone else to deal me my fate. my fate is in my own hands. or is it?
this brings me to my further thoughts on relationships - do you make your own fate or does fate just happen? did my turning on the radio and hearing the song that reminds me of the guy that i was going to breakup with mean that i should give him another chance? or was it just a coincidence? does the fact that i hear the somewhat-unusual (but not altogether unique) name of my crush in a stranger's conversations mean that it was meant to be or does it mean that i'm just more atune to his name? does this rather lengthy and quasi-philosophical post mean that i need to stop leading with my head and start leading with my heart? easier said than done.
the head vs. heart battle is one i will be fighting for the rest of my life. listening to my heart is what gets me into these messes. listening to my head is what gets me out of them. the problem is, i kind of like being in messes sometimes. but i can't figure out which ends up hurting more: my head or my heart?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment