the older i get, the more i cry

is that the way it is with everyone? when i was in my early 20s, the only time i would ever cry was when ... well, almost never. sure, i cried when my boyfriend made me mad or when i would have an argument with my mom. but over TV commercials and movies - never! now that i'm reaching my 30s, it's not that way anymore.

i watched the movie "The Notebook" the other weekend. the story is a heart-wrencher anyway but the first time i saw it in the theatre last year, my eyes remained dry throughout the entire flick. even the ending to one of the stories didn't tug at my rusty-ol' heartstrings. my teenage cousin, who cried almost from the beginning, turned to me as the lights went up and looked at me with her red, puffy eyes and said, "you are a robot!" but i did love the movie and so i bought it for my collection. i'm very glad that i watched it while i was alone and housesitting a couple of weeks ago because i cried like a baby with colic - i could barely control myself. by the end of the movie, i wasn't fit to be seen and i had a headache from all the crying. can you believe that?

it's not limited to movies, either. a touching (but cheesy) moment on prime-time TV has been known to start the waterworks in me of late. picking out a birthday card for a good friend sometimes does it. heck, i cry in the car if i sing along to a particularly sappy song. i've had many strange looks from other people driving alongside me. is it PMS or am i losing what's left of the marbles?

perhaps it is because i have more experiences to draw from now - when i was 20, i had one and half boyfriends in my past to draw any kind of emotional response from. now, i have had several successful failures of relationships to be able to relate to any given movie, love song or the like. perhaps with age comes maturity and with maturity comes a more heightened sense of loss and sorrow. or perhaps i'm just feeling a little melancholy.

naw! i think i'm a sap at heart - it's just the tough, crabby exterior that protects my oversized, ultra-sensitive heart from getting trampled on. perhaps this is why i have such trouble connecting with people on a sub-surface level?