nice weather we're having...

i love how predictable people can be. you know that when you get on a elevator with two or three people already on it, when the doors shut, all eyes will look up. if they don't, inevitably, someone will talk about the weather - how about that rain, what a beautiful day, can you believe how windy it was last night... you know that when you walk into a store, there will be someone who asks you how you are doing. students know that when they meet fellow students, the first question that is asked after, "where do you go?" is, "so, what are you taking?" all of these niceties that people exchange everyday but perhaps, don't even mean. i know i've been guilty of asking someone how they were and, after they told me they were fine (and they're almost always fine, good, doing well, or okay), i immediately responded "i'm good, thanks." how many times have i had to blubber my way through the embarrassing realization that they didn't ask me how I was doing?

my favourite example of habitual actions is one involving a greeting card that got sent around at my old workplace one day. it was for a delightfully ascerbic woman in accounting who had just had gall bladder surgery. as i opened up the card and tried to find space to write my well-wishes, i noticed that our GM (the very cute but obviously very preoccupied, son of the CEO of the corporation we worked for) had written, "happy birthday! love luke".

i've tried to make a conscious effort to be aware of what i say and what sentiments i express. i try never to tell someone they look good if they don't. i try never to tell someone their newborn is the cutest baby i've ever seen (because newborns are not cute in the two-year old, look-at-me-i'm-so-precocious-way - they are little, wrinkled alien children). admittedly, i've been guilty of saying, "it was good seeing you. we should get together soon!" to people i would never normally want to admit knowing. i have even been known to (shudder) do the mini-scream, outstretched arms and hug for people i haven't seen in a long time (and there's always a reason why i haven't seen them in a long time...). but for the most part, i try to be sincere. at least, i try to make myself believe that i'm being sincere.

if the outfit my friend is wearing is horrific and i don't think she can take the honest truth, i'll pick out two or three separate things i like about it: love the color, is that Ralph Lauren?, the cut on those pants is great. granted, i don't have many friends that dress outrageously and if they do, they don't normally ask for my opinion so i'm safe there. same with the alien babies. i pick something innocuous and say something cute - look at your tiny feet! i can't believe how tiny she is! ooh, i could just eat you up! it's what psychologists call "lies of omission". you learn to do it as a kid and you continue to do it as an adult. the little white lies. but that's what i love about human nature. everyone does it. and everyone always will.

so much for progress.