maybe it IS me

i went out on a brunch date with a guy i met online. we've been trading e-mails for a number of weeks (a no-no for me) and finally managed to find a mutually convenient date for ... well, a date.

from his first e-mail to me, which detailed the recent breakup of his 13 year marriage, i had my doubts as to whether he would be someone i wanted to even meet. he's a bit older than me - he just turned 41 - which was also a bit of a concern. and if it wasn't the narrative of his divorce that put me on red alert, it was his mention of the fact the had attended several Tony Robbins seminars in the past few years. not that there's anything wrong with that. he's also considers himself a Buddhist (he's caucasian, not that there's anything wrong with that) and went to all events concerning the Dalai Lama last weekend or the weekend before. in fact, he was a few minutes late for our date because he had to run down to Wal-Mart to buy a VCR because his broke and there was a show on the Dalai Lama on TV today that he wanted to watch. ok. but, his pictures were cute and he seemed nice enough in his e-mails (albeit wordy), so i thought i would give it a shot.

the two voicemails he left me over the past week were normal. nice voice, didn't ramble. when i spoke with him on the phone on saturday night, he sounded fine. he almost insisted that he pick me up for our date (he lives in langley and we were going to south surrey for brunch at northlands golf & country club - home of the PGA tour, thanks very much). i told him it would be fine by me if i just met him there since it didn't make sense that he drive all the way out to pick me up, only to drive all the way back to where he started from. i think it was just an "old-fashioned" thing to suggest, which i appreciate, but i had no idea whether he was a serial killer or not. and then he kept suggesting that we go for a walk at the pier in white rock after brunch, if i was feeling comfortable.

i won't detail the date but i will summarize my thoughts - he's a really nice guy. boyishly cute, very successful businessman, seems very grounded, generally a happy person. yet he came across (to me) as a bit of a fruitcake (and not in the gender-specific way). it's not that he preached what he learned at his Tony Robbins seminars, because he didn't. it's not that he was loopy or did weird things at brunch, because he didn't. but the overall package... he was dressed in a hawaiian shirt, shorts, runners and white athletic socks...yes, pulled up. he pressed his hands together and bowed at me when i walked up to meet him. he was severely encroaching on my personal space, which he warned me about but i didn't realize he would be such a frequent offender. he did this weird sort of audible breath intake thing at the end of some of his sentences. he crinkled his face at me when he smiled after saying something about himself. and then he bailed on the pier walk idea (which was fine because i was going to bail on it anyway).

i don't know that he'll call me again and i don't know whether i want him to. he was a good hugger (he said i was too and went in for a second one, which i gladly gave) but i can't see myself as anymore than friends with him. not that we have anything in common enough to be friends.

i know i'm a little slow but i think i've realized why most of the guys i like but aren't attracted to are not my friends - we just don't have anything in common. it's arguable that i have anything in common with MGF, for example, but for some reason, we manage to stay in touch and fairly regularly. heck, i see him more often than i see my good friends from school. i wonder what the motivation is.

incidentally, i saw him at the call ceremony at the law courts on friday afternoon. i don't know that he was surprised to see me but he hugged me twice. he knows Baby Man (they said hey and shook hands). odd, because i talk about MGF with Baby Man. and it turns out they know each other. spooky.