done.

i am emotionally burned out. i think that's the best way to describe it. i would literally like to just hibernate for about a month or two - no socializing, no phone calls, no chatting, no online dates, no going out. just me in my apartment, reading or writing or pondering the meaning of life. alone. by myself.

it kind of scares me when i get like this. i mean, i'm fully aware of it so it can't be all that bad. and it's not as though i haven't been on the phone or visited with my friends this weekend. but just the thought of having to converse and be interested in someone i know i'm not interested it - that takes too much energy. i've already let one of my online potentials know i'm not interested. i only have a few more to go. maybe i'm not ready. maybe i really am too picky.

there's this lady at work who has been talking about setting me up with her son's friend. i'm open to it but today, i asked her, "how tall is he?" and she said, "oh, not tall. average, i guess." she said not much taller than my OC, who (if he didn't slouch) is still only about 5'10". i responded with an, "oh." and she said, "oh, this girl. you are picky. no wonder you haven't met anyone!" that may be so, but i don't think that makes me wrong. i mean, one of the guys i'm "dating" right now told me how much he weighs. it turns out (although i didn't say anything but in hindsight, perhaps i should've), i weigh 5 lbs more than he does. that freaking sucks. perhaps that's when i lost interest. and i know that's not much but how many men do you know want to weigh less than their significant others? and how many women want to be physically larger than the guy they are dating? if that makes me shallow, then call me a puddle.

i hate it when they try to figure out everything we have in common. maybe i really don't like them but it just irritates me. i don't want someone exactly like me - i need someone who's different from me but can appreciate what i have to offer (and vice versa). great, you like to stay home and do nothing on your days off? that's a selling point, isn't it? you're really going to encourage me to be more than what i am.

fuck i'm cranky. i'm going to bed.

p.s. coffee with MGF tomorrow (assuming he doesn't reschedule again). i'm looking forward to seeing him, just not the date i have afterwards.