it all began (again) when i was debating with myself whether to get out of the online dating circle again. i've been doing it for a good two months this time around and it's yielded two or three potentials, one casualty and a lot of doubts about whether it is the right thing to do. one the one hand, who's to say that meeting someone online is any better or any worse than meeting someone at a bar? personally, i'm just as hesitant to advertise that the guy i'm interested in was the result of a bar pickup as i would be if i had met him on a dating website. in fact, i think the dating website is much more logical than meeting a drunk guy at the pub. but then i think, "is love supposed to be logical?"
i love the idea of online dating because it's organized and it cuts out a lot of the usual malarky that goes along with "getting to know someone". you put up a profile and tell potential dates about what you're looking for. if they don't measure up, they shouldn't even try. if they do try but don't get a response, they shouldn't be surprised. you tell them about yourself and they can determine whether you are what they are looking for. then you meet for coffee and determine whether there is any real chemistry. and it goes from there. simple, eh?
but it hasn't turned out to be simple. i've spent so much time wondering what i was doing wrong - i was "meeting" all of these great-on-paper guys that looked great in person but there were no sparks. not even a flicker. and then it occurred to me: perhaps it's not working because it's just not happening the way it's supposed to. you know, "naturally".
i subscribe to many schools of thought about how men and women should get together. the romantic in me thinks that it should all happen "when it happens". you know - the stolen glance across the bread aisle at Safeway, the shy smiles exchanged in the elevator on the way to work, that sort of thing. the realist in me knows that Mr. Right isn't going to come knocking at my door (although there was a cute FedEx guy that came to my door a little while ago...but i digress) and that i have to take some initiative to find a date. since my friends are either single and looking or married and only hang out with other married people (or, they say they're going to set me up with "this great guy at the office" but they never do), i can't really depend on someone else to deal me my fate. my fate is in my own hands. or is it?
this brings me to my further thoughts on relationships - do you make your own fate or does fate just happen? did my turning on the radio and hearing the song that reminds me of the guy that i was going to breakup with mean that i should give him another chance? or was it just a coincidence? does the fact that i hear the somewhat-unusual (but not altogether unique) name of my crush in a stranger's conversations mean that it was meant to be or does it mean that i'm just more atune to his name? does this rather lengthy and quasi-philosophical post mean that i need to stop leading with my head and start leading with my heart? easier said than done.
the head vs. heart battle is one i will be fighting for the rest of my life. listening to my heart is what gets me into these messes. listening to my head is what gets me out of them. the problem is, i kind of like being in messes sometimes. but i can't figure out which ends up hurting more: my head or my heart?
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
glutton for punishment
as you know, i'm in yaletown for the weekend. i e-mailed my friend from work who i know lives down here and whom i've been trying to get out for about...oh, two years now. i used to have a crush on him...used to, listen to her!...but now, i just have friendly feelings towards him (read: i still like him but i've given up on any hope that he'll like me in return). we've been out once. it was awkward, to say the least. i had asked him out on valentine's day (!!!) and he said no and that he'd rather stay in bed and listen to sad songs. but he suggested a movie the following week. we went. i met him at the theatre and after the movie, we went for a drink. he walked me to my car and i basically jumped in it and left. it wasn't that abrupt but you get what i'm saying - i didn't hang around long enough to see if there would be any good-night extras. it's never been the same since. we get along so well and he's so easy to talk to. i don't know that he feels the same way about me but i'd like to think so :) all of our plans over the past two years to get together, just for coffee, have always fallen by the way-side.
anyway, i know he lives downtown so i e-mailed him on thursday and asked him if he wanted to go for coffee or lunch this weekend. i told him where i'd be staying (the cross-streets) and it turns out he lives a block away from here. we agreed on a sunday morning coffee. i was so looking forward to it. he e-mailed me last night, late, saying that he had just gotten home from the office and that he was going out that night. he asked me to phone him after 10AM. so, i waited until 10:30 and phoned him. he was still in bed. he apologized and i asked him about his night (which he said sucked) and then i told him to go back to bed. and now, i'm sad.
i knew this would happen. i always know what's going to happen. yet, i always try anyway. perhaps i'm more emotionally masochistic than i thought (or is it sadistic?). anyway, i'm done trying (for now). i'll never e-mail or phone him again (until the next time i get the urge to see him). he's not my type anyway (if nice and sweet and smart and adorable is not my type). blah.
anyway, i know he lives downtown so i e-mailed him on thursday and asked him if he wanted to go for coffee or lunch this weekend. i told him where i'd be staying (the cross-streets) and it turns out he lives a block away from here. we agreed on a sunday morning coffee. i was so looking forward to it. he e-mailed me last night, late, saying that he had just gotten home from the office and that he was going out that night. he asked me to phone him after 10AM. so, i waited until 10:30 and phoned him. he was still in bed. he apologized and i asked him about his night (which he said sucked) and then i told him to go back to bed. and now, i'm sad.
i knew this would happen. i always know what's going to happen. yet, i always try anyway. perhaps i'm more emotionally masochistic than i thought (or is it sadistic?). anyway, i'm done trying (for now). i'll never e-mail or phone him again (until the next time i get the urge to see him). he's not my type anyway (if nice and sweet and smart and adorable is not my type). blah.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
nice weather we're having...
i love how predictable people can be. you know that when you get on a elevator with two or three people already on it, when the doors shut, all eyes will look up. if they don't, inevitably, someone will talk about the weather - how about that rain, what a beautiful day, can you believe how windy it was last night... you know that when you walk into a store, there will be someone who asks you how you are doing. students know that when they meet fellow students, the first question that is asked after, "where do you go?" is, "so, what are you taking?" all of these niceties that people exchange everyday but perhaps, don't even mean. i know i've been guilty of asking someone how they were and, after they told me they were fine (and they're almost always fine, good, doing well, or okay), i immediately responded "i'm good, thanks." how many times have i had to blubber my way through the embarrassing realization that they didn't ask me how I was doing?
my favourite example of habitual actions is one involving a greeting card that got sent around at my old workplace one day. it was for a delightfully ascerbic woman in accounting who had just had gall bladder surgery. as i opened up the card and tried to find space to write my well-wishes, i noticed that our GM (the very cute but obviously very preoccupied, son of the CEO of the corporation we worked for) had written, "happy birthday! love luke".
i've tried to make a conscious effort to be aware of what i say and what sentiments i express. i try never to tell someone they look good if they don't. i try never to tell someone their newborn is the cutest baby i've ever seen (because newborns are not cute in the two-year old, look-at-me-i'm-so-precocious-way - they are little, wrinkled alien children). admittedly, i've been guilty of saying, "it was good seeing you. we should get together soon!" to people i would never normally want to admit knowing. i have even been known to (shudder) do the mini-scream, outstretched arms and hug for people i haven't seen in a long time (and there's always a reason why i haven't seen them in a long time...). but for the most part, i try to be sincere. at least, i try to make myself believe that i'm being sincere.
if the outfit my friend is wearing is horrific and i don't think she can take the honest truth, i'll pick out two or three separate things i like about it: love the color, is that Ralph Lauren?, the cut on those pants is great. granted, i don't have many friends that dress outrageously and if they do, they don't normally ask for my opinion so i'm safe there. same with the alien babies. i pick something innocuous and say something cute - look at your tiny feet! i can't believe how tiny she is! ooh, i could just eat you up! it's what psychologists call "lies of omission". you learn to do it as a kid and you continue to do it as an adult. the little white lies. but that's what i love about human nature. everyone does it. and everyone always will.
so much for progress.
my favourite example of habitual actions is one involving a greeting card that got sent around at my old workplace one day. it was for a delightfully ascerbic woman in accounting who had just had gall bladder surgery. as i opened up the card and tried to find space to write my well-wishes, i noticed that our GM (the very cute but obviously very preoccupied, son of the CEO of the corporation we worked for) had written, "happy birthday! love luke".
i've tried to make a conscious effort to be aware of what i say and what sentiments i express. i try never to tell someone they look good if they don't. i try never to tell someone their newborn is the cutest baby i've ever seen (because newborns are not cute in the two-year old, look-at-me-i'm-so-precocious-way - they are little, wrinkled alien children). admittedly, i've been guilty of saying, "it was good seeing you. we should get together soon!" to people i would never normally want to admit knowing. i have even been known to (shudder) do the mini-scream, outstretched arms and hug for people i haven't seen in a long time (and there's always a reason why i haven't seen them in a long time...). but for the most part, i try to be sincere. at least, i try to make myself believe that i'm being sincere.
if the outfit my friend is wearing is horrific and i don't think she can take the honest truth, i'll pick out two or three separate things i like about it: love the color, is that Ralph Lauren?, the cut on those pants is great. granted, i don't have many friends that dress outrageously and if they do, they don't normally ask for my opinion so i'm safe there. same with the alien babies. i pick something innocuous and say something cute - look at your tiny feet! i can't believe how tiny she is! ooh, i could just eat you up! it's what psychologists call "lies of omission". you learn to do it as a kid and you continue to do it as an adult. the little white lies. but that's what i love about human nature. everyone does it. and everyone always will.
so much for progress.
damn seagulls
it wasn't the ever-present sound of sirens or late-night revellers that kept waking me up last night. it was the call of the rats with wings at 5AM this morning. and no, they weren't saying, "mine, mine, mine" a la "Finding Nemo" but, if translated from the seagull language, i'm sure it would be close. don't get me wrong; the sound of a seagull's cry reminds me of being by the ocean. but since i am three blocks from the seawall at the moment, the sound is not as appreciated as it would be were i lying on a sandy beach somewhere.
time for a shower. i've got a yaletown apartment to myself for the long weekend. so what am i going to do? go to bellingham for the day :)
time for a shower. i've got a yaletown apartment to myself for the long weekend. so what am i going to do? go to bellingham for the day :)
Friday, May 20, 2005
yaletown weekend
keeping in line with my role as a cat-sitter, i have agreed to look after my friend, kerri's, cat for the weekend. the clincher? she and her boyfriend live in yaletown. like i could say no! i am currently sitting in their solarium, looking out at their 11th floor view. i can see "the elbow room" from here and a guy digging through the garbage bins. ah, downtown life.
their apartment is great. craig gave me the grand tour yesterday. the funniest part was that i had parked at one of the metered parking stalls but didn't have any change. since i figured he was only going to hand me the keys and run out to his dragonboat practice, i figured i'd be okay for five minutes. twenty minutes later, i came out to my car - it was still parked where it was supposed to be and there was no ticket. i'm telling you, things keep going like this (aside from when my car got locked in the underground parkade - also in yaletown, about a block away from here), i'm really going to start believing that i'm above the parking laws in this city. ah, the power. anyway, back to the apartment. it overlooks the hundreds of other apartments within a four block radius but it's kind of nice. so different from suburbia. perhaps not really me but different in a good way. i think i may have to try out the hot tub on the 2nd floor - it's outdoors.
the only thing i forgot to ask them was how to buzz people into the building. i know the code to give and i've finally found the phone that you use to do so but i don't know which key it is. some places is "6"; others, it's the "#" sign. how am i supposed to eat if i can't order in??? normally, i'd be okay going out to eat on my own but for some reason, doing it in yaletown just doesn't feel right. i haven't been eating dinner the past few weeks anyway but, of course, i'm feeling hungry now. i wish i had someone in town that i could call - i asked dave if he wanted to go for lunch this weekend and he said he's working all weekend on a file but can make it for coffee on sunday morning. he lives about a block and a half from here - what a coincidence, eh?
anyway, i'm going to "unpack" (i managed to bring one small overnight back for three nights!) and then figure out if i'm really hungry or not. probably not.
their apartment is great. craig gave me the grand tour yesterday. the funniest part was that i had parked at one of the metered parking stalls but didn't have any change. since i figured he was only going to hand me the keys and run out to his dragonboat practice, i figured i'd be okay for five minutes. twenty minutes later, i came out to my car - it was still parked where it was supposed to be and there was no ticket. i'm telling you, things keep going like this (aside from when my car got locked in the underground parkade - also in yaletown, about a block away from here), i'm really going to start believing that i'm above the parking laws in this city. ah, the power. anyway, back to the apartment. it overlooks the hundreds of other apartments within a four block radius but it's kind of nice. so different from suburbia. perhaps not really me but different in a good way. i think i may have to try out the hot tub on the 2nd floor - it's outdoors.
the only thing i forgot to ask them was how to buzz people into the building. i know the code to give and i've finally found the phone that you use to do so but i don't know which key it is. some places is "6"; others, it's the "#" sign. how am i supposed to eat if i can't order in??? normally, i'd be okay going out to eat on my own but for some reason, doing it in yaletown just doesn't feel right. i haven't been eating dinner the past few weeks anyway but, of course, i'm feeling hungry now. i wish i had someone in town that i could call - i asked dave if he wanted to go for lunch this weekend and he said he's working all weekend on a file but can make it for coffee on sunday morning. he lives about a block and a half from here - what a coincidence, eh?
anyway, i'm going to "unpack" (i managed to bring one small overnight back for three nights!) and then figure out if i'm really hungry or not. probably not.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
my birthday
I made this page for my previous blog site, which enabled you to have your favorite links down the side of your page. Since this blog site doesn't seem to allow you to do that (but it does allow you to archive, which rocks), I will just post my birthday page here and that will be it:
http://ca.geocities.com/miss_mayette/birthday.html
http://ca.geocities.com/miss_mayette/birthday.html
butterflies
Is it bad that, after two weeks, I don't want to go to work anymore? If I were just working with the one lawyer whose house I'm based at, I think I'd be okay. I'm comfortable and I like how patient she is. After all, she was a teacher in my program at one point so she knows what I'm capable of. I re-met the other two lawyers on Friday, accompanied by one of the paralegals from head office who was visiting. And not just ANY paralegal - it was WonderParalegal. The one that has made herself available to the legal department 24/7 - quite the legend to live up to I'd say.
I've dealt with difficult lawyers before - it's the nature of the profession, unfortunately. But I think what's worrying me is that I'm unsure of what my role is right now. I know I can do the job but I don't know what to what level I'm being expected to perform at, particularly now that week two is over. I know that sounds ridiculous but Worry is my middle name. I'll be working with the VP of the Legal Department - no pressure! Her own sister (who is the lawyer I work with most) says she's impatient and expects perfection. I've already worked with a [Fill in the Blank] like that and it was stressful. I hope anything that I have to do for her is strictly organizational - filing, shredding and shipping.
I think it's also because I already know that I don't want to stay with the company. I mean, I do but not if it means that I'll be working out of a basement for the rest of my career. I don't even want to do it for the next 5 1/2 months. I already feel like I'm isolated from the rest of the world in my personal life - I don't want to feel that way in my professional life as well. One of the reasons I chose to switch careers was that I wanted to be able to meet different people in everyday work life - lawyers, clients, people at the coffee shop in the lobby. Everyday, I work with one person. I hear dozens of people on speakerphone everyday but that doesn't make a relationship, particularly if they live in another province. I suppose I could visit the Starbucks four blocks away everyday but that's just stupid. I thrive on the comraderie and social atmosphere an office environment offers. I'm afraid that with this basement-dweller job, I'm going to sink further into my introversion and never be able to work with a group of people again. Again, I know that's stupid but that's just how I'm feeling today. If they hire someone to take over Jennifer's position, I'll be thrilled. Even if it's not someone in the program.
My final word on this is that I know I'm focused on my inadequacies in my job because I don't want to think about my inadequacies in my personal life. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure today - don't mind me, though. I need to feel sorry for myself every once in awhile. It makes me laugh at how pathetic I'm being. And then I bounce back. Only, I'm not feeling very bouncy today. Bounce, bounce.
On a high note, I spent way too much money this weekend on spa treatments for myself. Yesterday, I got my hair cut and highlighted (I don't really like the highlights but perhaps it's because they are lighter and I'm not used to them). This morning, I went for a salt scrub, shea butter body wrap and an aromatherapy massage. I believe I need to make today's event a monthly thing. I'll make a note in my CrackBerry. :)
I've dealt with difficult lawyers before - it's the nature of the profession, unfortunately. But I think what's worrying me is that I'm unsure of what my role is right now. I know I can do the job but I don't know what to what level I'm being expected to perform at, particularly now that week two is over. I know that sounds ridiculous but Worry is my middle name. I'll be working with the VP of the Legal Department - no pressure! Her own sister (who is the lawyer I work with most) says she's impatient and expects perfection. I've already worked with a [Fill in the Blank] like that and it was stressful. I hope anything that I have to do for her is strictly organizational - filing, shredding and shipping.
I think it's also because I already know that I don't want to stay with the company. I mean, I do but not if it means that I'll be working out of a basement for the rest of my career. I don't even want to do it for the next 5 1/2 months. I already feel like I'm isolated from the rest of the world in my personal life - I don't want to feel that way in my professional life as well. One of the reasons I chose to switch careers was that I wanted to be able to meet different people in everyday work life - lawyers, clients, people at the coffee shop in the lobby. Everyday, I work with one person. I hear dozens of people on speakerphone everyday but that doesn't make a relationship, particularly if they live in another province. I suppose I could visit the Starbucks four blocks away everyday but that's just stupid. I thrive on the comraderie and social atmosphere an office environment offers. I'm afraid that with this basement-dweller job, I'm going to sink further into my introversion and never be able to work with a group of people again. Again, I know that's stupid but that's just how I'm feeling today. If they hire someone to take over Jennifer's position, I'll be thrilled. Even if it's not someone in the program.
My final word on this is that I know I'm focused on my inadequacies in my job because I don't want to think about my inadequacies in my personal life. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure today - don't mind me, though. I need to feel sorry for myself every once in awhile. It makes me laugh at how pathetic I'm being. And then I bounce back. Only, I'm not feeling very bouncy today. Bounce, bounce.
On a high note, I spent way too much money this weekend on spa treatments for myself. Yesterday, I got my hair cut and highlighted (I don't really like the highlights but perhaps it's because they are lighter and I'm not used to them). This morning, I went for a salt scrub, shea butter body wrap and an aromatherapy massage. I believe I need to make today's event a monthly thing. I'll make a note in my CrackBerry. :)
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Back Issue - "Solo in South America"
Friday 05.06.05 [9:47 pm]
I went to see a show last night by a local photographer named William Jans (/). He's a photographer that travels the world, takes pictures and video of his experiences, and puts together a show about it. I first learned of it from a friend of mine whose husband traveled with William to Nepal. I was expecting a glorified slide show with some stories thrown in. I was wrong. In one word, the show was "amazing". Complete with costume changes and city safety ratings, it was a highly entertaining and dynamic presentation.
The show last night was called "Solo in South America". He went to Brazil for Carnaval and to trek through the rainforest, Peru to climb Machu Picchu, Bolivia to tour the salt mines, and the Galapagos Islands to chill with the turtles. His photographs were fantastic - they seemed alive, even without the stories to go with it. The videos were hilarious. All of his pictures and videos are self-shot - you can always see his arm outstretched in the picture or in the video. He had this one clip where he was taking video of himself in a crowd of people during an Easter celebration. As he's pointing the camera down at himself and the rest of the crowd, you can see that the guy behind him is picking his pockets - and he got it all on tape. Crazy!
I would love to see his "Trekking in Tibet" show as well as any other ones he has coming out. If you ever get a chance to see him, I highly recommend it. This is definitely not your neighbour's vacation slide show!
I went to see a show last night by a local photographer named William Jans (/). He's a photographer that travels the world, takes pictures and video of his experiences, and puts together a show about it. I first learned of it from a friend of mine whose husband traveled with William to Nepal. I was expecting a glorified slide show with some stories thrown in. I was wrong. In one word, the show was "amazing". Complete with costume changes and city safety ratings, it was a highly entertaining and dynamic presentation.
The show last night was called "Solo in South America". He went to Brazil for Carnaval and to trek through the rainforest, Peru to climb Machu Picchu, Bolivia to tour the salt mines, and the Galapagos Islands to chill with the turtles. His photographs were fantastic - they seemed alive, even without the stories to go with it. The videos were hilarious. All of his pictures and videos are self-shot - you can always see his arm outstretched in the picture or in the video. He had this one clip where he was taking video of himself in a crowd of people during an Easter celebration. As he's pointing the camera down at himself and the rest of the crowd, you can see that the guy behind him is picking his pockets - and he got it all on tape. Crazy!
I would love to see his "Trekking in Tibet" show as well as any other ones he has coming out. If you ever get a chance to see him, I highly recommend it. This is definitely not your neighbour's vacation slide show!
Back Issue - In Memoriam
Wednesday 03.30.05 [8:58 pm]
We had a "memorial" today for Bev. It's been five months since she died. Wow, time flies. I was really glad to see our whole class show up for it, although I don't know if it was just pressure or whether they really wanted to say their last goodbyes.
It's funny - I thought I had dealt with my grief in November. The counselors they brought in for the class and talking it over with everyone and all the group crying we did. You would think that, considering I was never able to get as close to her as some people did, it wouldn't be such a sad thing for me anymore but today, listening to people talking about her and meeting her best friend, Scott, and hearing what he had to say about her, brought back all those sad feelings again. I managed to hold it all together until a couple of the girls in my class played a song that reminded them of Bev because the words were so appropriate and the song was played a lot during the time she died. When we all stood in the circle and "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson started playing, I had to smile. I know the words and so I was able to see how appropriate the song was for Bev. The song is about change and taking risks even though you know that you're leaving behind something familiar. If anyone knew about change and facing adversity, it was Bev. I held it together until I heard one of the last lines in the song, "Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye" and then I couldn't hold the tears in any longer.
I have a theory about mourning and grief and I expressed it when we were all grieving for her in November. Grief is a very selfish emotion if you think about it, particularly in circumstances where people grieve loved ones who have passed before their time. We were all very aware of how much she hurt and for how long she hurt. She fought her demons for as long as she could take it and I think even far beyond her breaking point. As much as I wish Bev were still with us, I know that she's not hurting anymore and I hope, wherever she is, she's finally found peace. God bless her. She was the bravest soul I've ever met.
We had a "memorial" today for Bev. It's been five months since she died. Wow, time flies. I was really glad to see our whole class show up for it, although I don't know if it was just pressure or whether they really wanted to say their last goodbyes.
It's funny - I thought I had dealt with my grief in November. The counselors they brought in for the class and talking it over with everyone and all the group crying we did. You would think that, considering I was never able to get as close to her as some people did, it wouldn't be such a sad thing for me anymore but today, listening to people talking about her and meeting her best friend, Scott, and hearing what he had to say about her, brought back all those sad feelings again. I managed to hold it all together until a couple of the girls in my class played a song that reminded them of Bev because the words were so appropriate and the song was played a lot during the time she died. When we all stood in the circle and "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson started playing, I had to smile. I know the words and so I was able to see how appropriate the song was for Bev. The song is about change and taking risks even though you know that you're leaving behind something familiar. If anyone knew about change and facing adversity, it was Bev. I held it together until I heard one of the last lines in the song, "Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye" and then I couldn't hold the tears in any longer.
I have a theory about mourning and grief and I expressed it when we were all grieving for her in November. Grief is a very selfish emotion if you think about it, particularly in circumstances where people grieve loved ones who have passed before their time. We were all very aware of how much she hurt and for how long she hurt. She fought her demons for as long as she could take it and I think even far beyond her breaking point. As much as I wish Bev were still with us, I know that she's not hurting anymore and I hope, wherever she is, she's finally found peace. God bless her. She was the bravest soul I've ever met.
Back Issue - Is Chivalry Dead?
The topic of chivalry came up in class today in Insurance (of all places, eh?). Our instructor was telling a story of when she got into a car accident with a "young whipper-snapper" and chose not to get out of the car because he was yelling at her from outside the car door. An older, German man, who had seen the whole incident, came to her "rescue" (it's not that she didn't want to confront the young guy - she just decided to wait until he was done yelling) by getting into it with him. When the whipper-snapper left, she got out of the car and the German guy said to her (in a thick German accent), "We men need to take care of our women!"
Our whole class laughed but that got me wondering: is chivalry actually dead or is it alive and well in a more modernized form? Can chivalric acts even be modernized?
Here is my top five list of my favourite chivalric acts that boyfriends, dates or guy friends have done for me (and we're talking beyond holding the door open here):
1) Helps me on with my coat. I was at a Hallowe'en party at Cecil Green and the coats were all just on coatracks in the front. I was with a bunch of people and one of the guys went to get our coats (we all had just put our coats on one hanger) and he put his on and then held mine open for me and helped me into it. This had to be on the top of my list, even though it was a friend that did it. It's just one of those gestures that you don't really expect nowadays - at least, I didn't expect it. It was romantic but very simple. Nice.
2) Carries my shopping bags at the mall. This act wasn't even done by a friend of mine. I was shopping with my one of my best guy friends and he brought his best friend along. As the day went on and purchases were made, the friend of the friend insisted on carrying all my bags for me and I think that may have been the second or third time we met.
3) Walks me to my car. To follow up with #2, the FOTF insisted that he and my best guy friend walk me to my car, even though they were parked on the other side of the mall. My best friend didn't think that walking me to my car was an option. Whenever I went over to my now ex-boyfriend's house, he never walked me to my car and I never thought much of it because he would always stand at the door and wait until he heard my car door close (That's right, there were big, tall trees that obscured the vision from the front door of his house to the street where I was parked. For all he knew, the thump of the car door was my head bashing against it as some crazy psycho kidnapped me. But I digress...). I talked about this once to another guy friend of mine, who thought this was really funny. Apparently, this is a big issue with women and he's learned to just humour his dates and, at the very least, doesn't shut the door the minute she turns around to walk away. Good to know.
4) If he gives me a gift, it's something he actually thought about instead of just bought. Is this chivalrous or just thoughtful? Anyway, a guy I dated briefly a few years ago, on our first date, came to pick me up and handed me a CD of songs he had made for me and thought I would like. Although I had never heard any of the songs before, he had determined from our previous conversations what kind of music I liked and then made a CD to suit. It's not even the fact that he made it; it's the fact that, not only remembering things that I told him when we talked but he was putting it into context. THAT is thoughtful.
5) Kiss my hand. I'm a sucker for this one. I've only known two or three guys that could expertly kiss a woman's hand without it being cheesy or contrived. I was at the pub one night with a bunch of friends from work. One of the Rico Suave hand-kissers I speak of was part of the group this particular night. As he got up to leave, he deftly picked up my hand from the table, kissed it and glided away without so much as a hesitation. He's in his 50s, if that makes any difference. That same night, another one of our group - a guy that is the same age as me but awkward with ...well, people in general but I think it's just because he's shy - was saying his goodbyes. He offered his hand to me so I shook it and then he hesitantly brought it up about halfway to kiss it, but then he decided that maybe he shouldn't but then he halfway through that decision decided to and then he finally kissed my hand but it was really, really weird.
I guess the problem with chivalry is that you have to be careful about who you extend them to. Some women may love it when you pull their chair out for them (that's #6 for me); others hate it. I think it's weird when a server lays your napkin on your lap for you but that's just me. I wouldn't like it if a guy ordered my dinner for me - don't tell me what to eat! (Brings back memories of the movie "Secretary"...mmm, all the ice-cream I can eat!) I usually hold the door open for people, male or female, if I see that they need help (armload of books, children, etc.). And as for the situation my instructor was in with the young whipper-snapper and the old, German guy? Call me old-fashioned, romantic and a fool but I think it was kind of sweet that the old guy wanted to "protect the woman". I guess that's why when my boss came back from England with presents for all of the support staff, three of them got a little dangly sheep and I got a knight in shining armour...
Our whole class laughed but that got me wondering: is chivalry actually dead or is it alive and well in a more modernized form? Can chivalric acts even be modernized?
Here is my top five list of my favourite chivalric acts that boyfriends, dates or guy friends have done for me (and we're talking beyond holding the door open here):
1) Helps me on with my coat. I was at a Hallowe'en party at Cecil Green and the coats were all just on coatracks in the front. I was with a bunch of people and one of the guys went to get our coats (we all had just put our coats on one hanger) and he put his on and then held mine open for me and helped me into it. This had to be on the top of my list, even though it was a friend that did it. It's just one of those gestures that you don't really expect nowadays - at least, I didn't expect it. It was romantic but very simple. Nice.
2) Carries my shopping bags at the mall. This act wasn't even done by a friend of mine. I was shopping with my one of my best guy friends and he brought his best friend along. As the day went on and purchases were made, the friend of the friend insisted on carrying all my bags for me and I think that may have been the second or third time we met.
3) Walks me to my car. To follow up with #2, the FOTF insisted that he and my best guy friend walk me to my car, even though they were parked on the other side of the mall. My best friend didn't think that walking me to my car was an option. Whenever I went over to my now ex-boyfriend's house, he never walked me to my car and I never thought much of it because he would always stand at the door and wait until he heard my car door close (That's right, there were big, tall trees that obscured the vision from the front door of his house to the street where I was parked. For all he knew, the thump of the car door was my head bashing against it as some crazy psycho kidnapped me. But I digress...). I talked about this once to another guy friend of mine, who thought this was really funny. Apparently, this is a big issue with women and he's learned to just humour his dates and, at the very least, doesn't shut the door the minute she turns around to walk away. Good to know.
4) If he gives me a gift, it's something he actually thought about instead of just bought. Is this chivalrous or just thoughtful? Anyway, a guy I dated briefly a few years ago, on our first date, came to pick me up and handed me a CD of songs he had made for me and thought I would like. Although I had never heard any of the songs before, he had determined from our previous conversations what kind of music I liked and then made a CD to suit. It's not even the fact that he made it; it's the fact that, not only remembering things that I told him when we talked but he was putting it into context. THAT is thoughtful.
5) Kiss my hand. I'm a sucker for this one. I've only known two or three guys that could expertly kiss a woman's hand without it being cheesy or contrived. I was at the pub one night with a bunch of friends from work. One of the Rico Suave hand-kissers I speak of was part of the group this particular night. As he got up to leave, he deftly picked up my hand from the table, kissed it and glided away without so much as a hesitation. He's in his 50s, if that makes any difference. That same night, another one of our group - a guy that is the same age as me but awkward with ...well, people in general but I think it's just because he's shy - was saying his goodbyes. He offered his hand to me so I shook it and then he hesitantly brought it up about halfway to kiss it, but then he decided that maybe he shouldn't but then he halfway through that decision decided to and then he finally kissed my hand but it was really, really weird.
I guess the problem with chivalry is that you have to be careful about who you extend them to. Some women may love it when you pull their chair out for them (that's #6 for me); others hate it. I think it's weird when a server lays your napkin on your lap for you but that's just me. I wouldn't like it if a guy ordered my dinner for me - don't tell me what to eat! (Brings back memories of the movie "Secretary"...mmm, all the ice-cream I can eat!) I usually hold the door open for people, male or female, if I see that they need help (armload of books, children, etc.). And as for the situation my instructor was in with the young whipper-snapper and the old, German guy? Call me old-fashioned, romantic and a fool but I think it was kind of sweet that the old guy wanted to "protect the woman". I guess that's why when my boss came back from England with presents for all of the support staff, three of them got a little dangly sheep and I got a knight in shining armour...
Back Issue - Trappings
Don't you love it when the little things that happen in life remind you of or make you realize what you're actually missing?
Last night, I was at my friend's fundraiser at the Shark Club for his dragon boat team. The people I went with were more interested in sitting upstairs and playing pool than actually getting out and mingling so I was eyeing the dance floor to see if there were enough people that I could just go and dance by myself and no one would be the wiser. The friend that invited me saw me, knows how much I love to dance and signaled to me that we should go dance. We walked down the steps and I paused at the threshold of gyrating bodies, just to take note of which pathway to take to get to the inside circle. My friend, through instinct or just because he was very drunk, put his hand between my hip and my ass to lead me through. At the time, I thought it was kind of funny - was he so drunk that he forgot I wasn't his girlfriend but a co-worker he was touching rather inappropriately? We dance for awhile and then he took off and I danced by myself a little more. I didn't think about his gesture until this morning when I woke up.
I think that's what I miss most about being in a relationship. You'd think it would be that you always have someone to call and tell about your day or that you know you have a date for all major holiday parties or that you know you have an option to have sex on any given day or that there's someone that loves you for you and they aren't related to you. I do miss all of that but above all, I miss the little, intimate gestures - and not sexual gestures but more "territorial" gestures, for lack of a better word - that come naturally in any exclusive relationship. The trappings, if you will.
I remember an episode of "Allie McBeal" that talked about the "trappings of a relationship". Basically, it's the little gestures that show everyone around you that you and your mate are together. I remember going to the video store with a boyfriend, me going directly to the "new releases" wall and he would beeline to the video games. I'd browse every single title and eventually, he would come up behind me, put his hands on my hips or arms around my waist and browse with me. This is a trapping.
Or, whenever I walk down the street with a boyfriend, I instinctively just grab his arm, if his hands are in his pocket, and walk along with my hand in the crook of his elbow. Trappings.
Or, if we're walking out of a restaurant or movie or anywhere there's a crowd of people, he walks behind me with his hand on the small of my back, leading me through.
Or, at a party where we're standing with a group of people talking and he leans over and picks an imaginary piece of lint of my shoulder or brushes a stray hair from my face. Or, if we're sitting around at a party and I get up, put my hand on his arm and say, "I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything while I'm up?" I know the last one is a weird example but I miss doing that!
It could be as simple as just The Look that all couples exchange at one time or another - I call it the "Squinty Look". It's a hard look to actually describe because for all people, it's slightly different. But you always know it when you see it.
I miss being a part of something. I mean, I'm a part of lots of things - friendships, family, volunteer organizations, work but it's not the same. I miss the familiarity that comes with being part of a couple - knowing the likes, the dislikes, the preferences. Being able to say, "No, he'd rather have the sweater in the dark blue than the light. And he's not fond of turtlenecks." I miss taking care of someone - I admit it, I coddle boyfriends. I don't know if it's a maternal instinct or a Filipino instinct but I always want to make sure the people I'm with are happy. I care more that they're happy than if I'm happy. I miss doing little things for someone (this sort of goes against my Chivalry post but...). I even miss buying little gifts - not for birthdays or holidays but everyday gifts - a book he wants to read or his favourite chocolate or massage oil . And I can achieve this with friends and family to a certain extent but it's just not the same. Especially with the massage oil... I have been known to use the interoffice mail to send boxes of chocolates to my friends at another office for Christmas and Valentine's Day. But it's just not the same as sending a first-thing-in-the-morning e-mail to that Special Someone to let them know you're thinking of them or listening to an old voicemail they left you, just to hear their voice.... Sigh.
Last night, I was at my friend's fundraiser at the Shark Club for his dragon boat team. The people I went with were more interested in sitting upstairs and playing pool than actually getting out and mingling so I was eyeing the dance floor to see if there were enough people that I could just go and dance by myself and no one would be the wiser. The friend that invited me saw me, knows how much I love to dance and signaled to me that we should go dance. We walked down the steps and I paused at the threshold of gyrating bodies, just to take note of which pathway to take to get to the inside circle. My friend, through instinct or just because he was very drunk, put his hand between my hip and my ass to lead me through. At the time, I thought it was kind of funny - was he so drunk that he forgot I wasn't his girlfriend but a co-worker he was touching rather inappropriately? We dance for awhile and then he took off and I danced by myself a little more. I didn't think about his gesture until this morning when I woke up.
I think that's what I miss most about being in a relationship. You'd think it would be that you always have someone to call and tell about your day or that you know you have a date for all major holiday parties or that you know you have an option to have sex on any given day or that there's someone that loves you for you and they aren't related to you. I do miss all of that but above all, I miss the little, intimate gestures - and not sexual gestures but more "territorial" gestures, for lack of a better word - that come naturally in any exclusive relationship. The trappings, if you will.
I remember an episode of "Allie McBeal" that talked about the "trappings of a relationship". Basically, it's the little gestures that show everyone around you that you and your mate are together. I remember going to the video store with a boyfriend, me going directly to the "new releases" wall and he would beeline to the video games. I'd browse every single title and eventually, he would come up behind me, put his hands on my hips or arms around my waist and browse with me. This is a trapping.
Or, whenever I walk down the street with a boyfriend, I instinctively just grab his arm, if his hands are in his pocket, and walk along with my hand in the crook of his elbow. Trappings.
Or, if we're walking out of a restaurant or movie or anywhere there's a crowd of people, he walks behind me with his hand on the small of my back, leading me through.
Or, at a party where we're standing with a group of people talking and he leans over and picks an imaginary piece of lint of my shoulder or brushes a stray hair from my face. Or, if we're sitting around at a party and I get up, put my hand on his arm and say, "I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything while I'm up?" I know the last one is a weird example but I miss doing that!
It could be as simple as just The Look that all couples exchange at one time or another - I call it the "Squinty Look". It's a hard look to actually describe because for all people, it's slightly different. But you always know it when you see it.
I miss being a part of something. I mean, I'm a part of lots of things - friendships, family, volunteer organizations, work but it's not the same. I miss the familiarity that comes with being part of a couple - knowing the likes, the dislikes, the preferences. Being able to say, "No, he'd rather have the sweater in the dark blue than the light. And he's not fond of turtlenecks." I miss taking care of someone - I admit it, I coddle boyfriends. I don't know if it's a maternal instinct or a Filipino instinct but I always want to make sure the people I'm with are happy. I care more that they're happy than if I'm happy. I miss doing little things for someone (this sort of goes against my Chivalry post but...). I even miss buying little gifts - not for birthdays or holidays but everyday gifts - a book he wants to read or his favourite chocolate or massage oil . And I can achieve this with friends and family to a certain extent but it's just not the same. Especially with the massage oil... I have been known to use the interoffice mail to send boxes of chocolates to my friends at another office for Christmas and Valentine's Day. But it's just not the same as sending a first-thing-in-the-morning e-mail to that Special Someone to let them know you're thinking of them or listening to an old voicemail they left you, just to hear their voice.... Sigh.
Back Issue - Geishas and Man-Purses
Tuesday 04.19.05 [1:13 pm]
It's amazing the things you see at the gym without even trying. I've been going to my gym now for just over four years - I became a member when it opened in my neighbourhood. Over the years, you get to know the faces and habits of the regulars (see my previous post about Sweaty Girl). Today, I made some interesting observations. Okay, they were interesting to me and, those of you that have been to my gym and know the characters, will also find them interesting.
The Geisha was at the gym this morning. I saw her boyfriend working out when I was at the gym the other day (Sunday?) and she was no where in sight. He is a muscly Asian guy who drives a late-model Mercedes convertible with Ontario plates. She is a petite Asian girl who reminds me of a modern-day geisha. Dont' get me wrong - she's very pretty. But she's a bit...um...skanky, for lack of a better word. She's got very long blondy-red hair (she's Asian) that falls past her waist when it's in a ponytail. She wears very tiny booty shorts when she works out and she walks around the changeroom in a very tiny towel that barely covers her ass and high-heeled platform shoes (you know, the kind you see strippers wear on stage). A variation of her changeroom attire is a g-string, the high-heeled shoes and a face towel she uses to cover up her chest. I've actually arrived at the gym, walked by her boyfriend waiting in the lobby after he's finished working out, and walked in the changeroom and she's got all of her accoutrements laid out all over one counter - makeup, hair dryer, flat iron, clothes. She's usually on the phone. I've gone to work out for about an hour, gone back into the changeroom to put my stuff away and she's still half naked with her stuff still splayed out on the counter and her boyfriend is still waiting patiently (an hour later!) in the lobby. She was arguing with another girl when I walked into the changeroom today. I wanted to listen in but alas, felt my time would be better spent getting on the cross-trainer.
Another thing I noticed today were these three guys - and I didn't notice them because they were cute. They were probably 19 or 20 and they rolled into the gym like it was a club on Saturday night. One guy had what I thought were his eyeglasses on backwards behind his head. He and his friend got on the bikes in front of me and I realized, as he turned his glasses around, that they were sunglasses and he was wearing them while he pedaled away on his bike. If that wasn't bad enough, his friend, a stocky Asian guy, was wearing a purse slung across his chest. A PURSE. It wasn't even a bag to put his CD player or iPod in. It was a freaking GUCCI purse. I tried desperately not to laugh - actually, I looked around desperately to find someone to laugh with me. What was worse was that the third guy slinked up to these two and he was also wearing a purse across his chest - LV, though. Now, I'm all for equality but at least get purses that are more manly than the ones they had! Doesn't Hugo Boss make man-purses or something?
My final observation is that guys like to advertise that they are firefighters. I don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier. There are a couple of regulars that I always see and they always have their firefighter shirts on. I don't know if they have a stockpile of them or not but they always have the same one on. I guess it's only natural in the meat-market atmosphere of Fitness World that people strut and preen like peacocks. Human nature is fascinating, isn't it?
It's amazing the things you see at the gym without even trying. I've been going to my gym now for just over four years - I became a member when it opened in my neighbourhood. Over the years, you get to know the faces and habits of the regulars (see my previous post about Sweaty Girl). Today, I made some interesting observations. Okay, they were interesting to me and, those of you that have been to my gym and know the characters, will also find them interesting.
The Geisha was at the gym this morning. I saw her boyfriend working out when I was at the gym the other day (Sunday?) and she was no where in sight. He is a muscly Asian guy who drives a late-model Mercedes convertible with Ontario plates. She is a petite Asian girl who reminds me of a modern-day geisha. Dont' get me wrong - she's very pretty. But she's a bit...um...skanky, for lack of a better word. She's got very long blondy-red hair (she's Asian) that falls past her waist when it's in a ponytail. She wears very tiny booty shorts when she works out and she walks around the changeroom in a very tiny towel that barely covers her ass and high-heeled platform shoes (you know, the kind you see strippers wear on stage). A variation of her changeroom attire is a g-string, the high-heeled shoes and a face towel she uses to cover up her chest. I've actually arrived at the gym, walked by her boyfriend waiting in the lobby after he's finished working out, and walked in the changeroom and she's got all of her accoutrements laid out all over one counter - makeup, hair dryer, flat iron, clothes. She's usually on the phone. I've gone to work out for about an hour, gone back into the changeroom to put my stuff away and she's still half naked with her stuff still splayed out on the counter and her boyfriend is still waiting patiently (an hour later!) in the lobby. She was arguing with another girl when I walked into the changeroom today. I wanted to listen in but alas, felt my time would be better spent getting on the cross-trainer.
Another thing I noticed today were these three guys - and I didn't notice them because they were cute. They were probably 19 or 20 and they rolled into the gym like it was a club on Saturday night. One guy had what I thought were his eyeglasses on backwards behind his head. He and his friend got on the bikes in front of me and I realized, as he turned his glasses around, that they were sunglasses and he was wearing them while he pedaled away on his bike. If that wasn't bad enough, his friend, a stocky Asian guy, was wearing a purse slung across his chest. A PURSE. It wasn't even a bag to put his CD player or iPod in. It was a freaking GUCCI purse. I tried desperately not to laugh - actually, I looked around desperately to find someone to laugh with me. What was worse was that the third guy slinked up to these two and he was also wearing a purse across his chest - LV, though. Now, I'm all for equality but at least get purses that are more manly than the ones they had! Doesn't Hugo Boss make man-purses or something?
My final observation is that guys like to advertise that they are firefighters. I don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier. There are a couple of regulars that I always see and they always have their firefighter shirts on. I don't know if they have a stockpile of them or not but they always have the same one on. I guess it's only natural in the meat-market atmosphere of Fitness World that people strut and preen like peacocks. Human nature is fascinating, isn't it?
Back Issue - Gym Etiquette
Thursday 03.10.05 [6:15 pm]
Have you ever been at the gym and seen someone sweating away on a cardio machine or weight machine? Gross, eh? I've had it with the gross, sweaty people that pedal and grunt their way along on a machine, only to walk away from it without wiping it down. EWWW!!
There's this one woman in particular - her name, I won't mention, as she's rather famous in her own right and doesn't need to be made more famous by her disgusting gym habits. Anyway, whenever I am at the gym and I see her, she's already working out on "her" bike: second row, third one from the right. It doesn't matter if every bike is unoccupied - she wants that bike. If there's someone on it and the other bikes are available, she'll wait for her bike. Anyway, that's not the point. She's on this bike for hours - and I do mean hours. I've gone in, done an hour of cardio and 20 minutes of weights and stretching and as I leave, she's still pumping away on the bike. She usually brings two or three changes of t-shirts and a couple of towels to wipe herself down every 30 - 40 minutes or so. She sweats a lot.
One day, I got on one of the cross-trainer machines that was directly behind her. I had been running on my machine for not more than 10 minutes when she stopped riding her bike. I thought she was just taking a break but lo and behold, I had actually caught her as she was about to leave. I had never, in my entire 4 year membership at this gym, seen her leave. I'd see her come in and I'd seen her in the changeroom (she walks around naked - totally unnecessary!) but I'd never seen her get off her bike, gather her things and walk away. This day, I did. And I was disgusted. Imagine this girl being on the bike for two, three hours and sweating away, changing her sweat-soaked t-shirt at least twice and then packing up her stuff and walking away WITHOUT WIPING THE SEAT DOWN! Double EWW! At first, I thought she was just going to put her stuff away and come back to clean up her mess but a minute later, I saw her walking out the door, without even a glance back. Am I over-reacting here or is that gross?
Since I'm complaining about gym etiquette, I might as well add the following: people that wear wool caps when they work out (imagine the sweat that soaks into it!), people that talk on their cell phones while they work out ("Hello? Yeah, I'm on the treadmill right now. Oh, I'm on level 5 with an incline of 3.5. Yeah, I'm going to do weights after this and then do my yoga class. So, are you making dinner right now? What are you making? Oh, that sounds good...") and, this just added today, people that wear their sunglasses while they work out (unless you've just been to the eye doctor and your pupils are dialated, what's the point, exactly?).
One funny story that I must share... One day, a co-worker and I were talking about the gym. She (a tall, slim woman with a mommy-tummy) said that when she has a choice of which cardio machine to get on, she usually picks the one beside a woman who is bigger than her so she looks thinner. I laughed so hard. That night, I was at the gym. I was on the cross-trainer that was on the end of the row and there was no one else on the seven machines that were beside mine. As I'm bopping away to my music, a young, blonde girl gets on the machine right beside mine. At first, I'm seriously annoyed - I mean, come on, there are at least 10 machines free that aren't anywhere near me. And then, my conversation with my co-worker came screaming back into my head and it dawned on me: I'm the fat girl that this chick wants to work out beside so she looks thinner!!!!! I laughed so hard when I told the story to my co-worker the next day - and she laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Ahh, good times....
Have you ever been at the gym and seen someone sweating away on a cardio machine or weight machine? Gross, eh? I've had it with the gross, sweaty people that pedal and grunt their way along on a machine, only to walk away from it without wiping it down. EWWW!!
There's this one woman in particular - her name, I won't mention, as she's rather famous in her own right and doesn't need to be made more famous by her disgusting gym habits. Anyway, whenever I am at the gym and I see her, she's already working out on "her" bike: second row, third one from the right. It doesn't matter if every bike is unoccupied - she wants that bike. If there's someone on it and the other bikes are available, she'll wait for her bike. Anyway, that's not the point. She's on this bike for hours - and I do mean hours. I've gone in, done an hour of cardio and 20 minutes of weights and stretching and as I leave, she's still pumping away on the bike. She usually brings two or three changes of t-shirts and a couple of towels to wipe herself down every 30 - 40 minutes or so. She sweats a lot.
One day, I got on one of the cross-trainer machines that was directly behind her. I had been running on my machine for not more than 10 minutes when she stopped riding her bike. I thought she was just taking a break but lo and behold, I had actually caught her as she was about to leave. I had never, in my entire 4 year membership at this gym, seen her leave. I'd see her come in and I'd seen her in the changeroom (she walks around naked - totally unnecessary!) but I'd never seen her get off her bike, gather her things and walk away. This day, I did. And I was disgusted. Imagine this girl being on the bike for two, three hours and sweating away, changing her sweat-soaked t-shirt at least twice and then packing up her stuff and walking away WITHOUT WIPING THE SEAT DOWN! Double EWW! At first, I thought she was just going to put her stuff away and come back to clean up her mess but a minute later, I saw her walking out the door, without even a glance back. Am I over-reacting here or is that gross?
Since I'm complaining about gym etiquette, I might as well add the following: people that wear wool caps when they work out (imagine the sweat that soaks into it!), people that talk on their cell phones while they work out ("Hello? Yeah, I'm on the treadmill right now. Oh, I'm on level 5 with an incline of 3.5. Yeah, I'm going to do weights after this and then do my yoga class. So, are you making dinner right now? What are you making? Oh, that sounds good...") and, this just added today, people that wear their sunglasses while they work out (unless you've just been to the eye doctor and your pupils are dialated, what's the point, exactly?).
One funny story that I must share... One day, a co-worker and I were talking about the gym. She (a tall, slim woman with a mommy-tummy) said that when she has a choice of which cardio machine to get on, she usually picks the one beside a woman who is bigger than her so she looks thinner. I laughed so hard. That night, I was at the gym. I was on the cross-trainer that was on the end of the row and there was no one else on the seven machines that were beside mine. As I'm bopping away to my music, a young, blonde girl gets on the machine right beside mine. At first, I'm seriously annoyed - I mean, come on, there are at least 10 machines free that aren't anywhere near me. And then, my conversation with my co-worker came screaming back into my head and it dawned on me: I'm the fat girl that this chick wants to work out beside so she looks thinner!!!!! I laughed so hard when I told the story to my co-worker the next day - and she laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Ahh, good times....
Friday the 13th Mayhem
My parking ordeal last night before dinner was as follows: I drove around Yaletown, trying to find a street parking spot. I hate street parking so I found the easyPay lot that I usually park in when I go to Yaletown. I find a parking spoton the upper level and go to the machine to pay. It eats my card. A guy comes up from the lower level and says, "Is this machine working? The one downstairs isn't." I tell him it's eaten my card. I phone easyPay and they say they'll send someone down to help me. As I'm waiting (not very long) the machine spits out my card. The same guy comes up from the lower level again, this time with his friends, and says, "The security guard said he'll phone someone. I don't think you have to pay anything." This concerns me so I phone the "pay by phone" number. I don't bother putting a sign on my car that says, "Machine out of order". As I walk to the restaurant, already flustered because I was late and just coming from work, I get on the phone with the pay by phone people. She takes all of my information down and then says, "Oh, there's a problem with registering your credit card. I'll escalate this problem to my manager and we'll call you back." I ask her, "How am I going to pay for my parking in the meantime?" She says, "Sorry, ma'am, but that's not our responsibility." I say to her, "Well, that doesn't help me. Cancel my registration. I don't want to use your service." By this time, I've walked the block and a half to the restaurant. I wasn't about to trek back just to put the note on my car. I decide to chance it. Little did I know a ticket would be the least of my problems. Did I mention I parked in the spots for Mini Yaletown?
As I walked back to my car with Michelle, Carl and Daphne, I joked that I hoped my car was still in the lot. We parted ways at the driveway to the lot and they walked onto their car. I get to the gate - it was down. The garage closed at 10PM. I couldn't see the little blue Civic from where I was. Instead of wondering what to do, I ran after Michelle, Carl and Daphne, who luckily were still waiting at the lights to cross. They were kind enough to drive my poor, stupid, brainless self home. Thank you again, guys!
At 6AM, my dad and I trekked out to Yaletown to retrieve my car. I phoned easyPay first and said, "My car was locked in your Yaletown location last night. Would they have towed it?" She said it would still be there. I figured I'd have a parking ticket on it but I'd happily pay that than the towing fee. Anyway, short story long, there was no parking ticket on it, it was still in the lot, no one broke into it and now it's home with me again. Oh, what a night!
As I walked back to my car with Michelle, Carl and Daphne, I joked that I hoped my car was still in the lot. We parted ways at the driveway to the lot and they walked onto their car. I get to the gate - it was down. The garage closed at 10PM. I couldn't see the little blue Civic from where I was. Instead of wondering what to do, I ran after Michelle, Carl and Daphne, who luckily were still waiting at the lights to cross. They were kind enough to drive my poor, stupid, brainless self home. Thank you again, guys!
At 6AM, my dad and I trekked out to Yaletown to retrieve my car. I phoned easyPay first and said, "My car was locked in your Yaletown location last night. Would they have towed it?" She said it would still be there. I figured I'd have a parking ticket on it but I'd happily pay that than the towing fee. Anyway, short story long, there was no parking ticket on it, it was still in the lot, no one broke into it and now it's home with me again. Oh, what a night!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
can't let go
the mariah carey song is running through my head right now... the title is pretty indicative of me, though. i have a hard time letting go of things - it's my pack-rat mentality. i don't like to think that i'm obsessive and i would never describe myself that way. but i get attached to people easily and when it seems like they are slowly drifting out of my life, i get upset. sometimes i try to prevent it from happening (or at least, delay its occurence) by emphasizing the aspects of my personality that might keep them around. they might not be prevalent parts of my personality but it's still sort of me. i have this desire to make things work, regardless of what my head tells me is right. if i mess up at work, i need to do everything else extra carefully to make up for what i've done. if i've said something to upset a friend, i make no mention of it again and try to be especially sensitive to them for the next couple of days. i have the desire to fix things and to make things better. most days, i have no idea how to do it. and sometimes, i try too hard when i should really just give up. sometimes i am able to let it go and to move on. but if i think it's worth the fight, i hang on until someone else pries my fingers loose. the curse of being a Cancer - we care too much and get hurt easily. and no one ever knows.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
HOLY !@!@#
I fit into my skinny jeans!!!! And they say you can't lose weight eating brownies and cheesecake :)
Can't fight the boredom
I worked steadily away all morning but now, I can't fight the urge to just surft the internet. I know I shouldn't - I have agreements to go through and edit - but it's too easy. Not that I'm complaining. And I will never get over the fact that I don't work in a big office tower downtown. I honestly don't mind my work setup right now - my boss makes it very comfortable for me and she's constantly trying to feed me. But it's just not work unless your marginally dressed up and have people (professional people) buzzing around you all day. At least I don't pay $150 for parking every month or drycleaning bills or spend money on new clothes for work. I'm just trying to placate myself right now because honestly, at this point (sitting in the basement all by myself), I'd rather spend the money.
This too shall pass...
This too shall pass...
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
fandemonium
i feel sort of bad. i'm leaving my old blog neighbourhood because i was too easy to find. you just had to blog my name and there i was. so much for anonymity! i haven't decided whether i am going to let any of my friends know about my new blog. i found that i was censoring a little, which is not what i wanted to do. well, censoring somethings but being a little too honest about others. geesh, what ever happened to being yourself? anyway, here I am. hope this place is better than my last place...
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