i have to admit - i'm feeling a little crazy today. not surprising that i used the hashtag "infatuation" in one of my IG posts. i know it's completely hormonal (i think i may be getting my Friend - and as an aside, i've never been more excited about it. she's a little late this month and it was starting to become a concern!), but honestly, i was reading his old Twitter posts (crazy sign #1) and i started crying after reading ones that referenced his ex and their life together (crazy sign #2). another aside, the extra hormones are the main reason why i am no longer on the Pill. i can barely stand my own genetic brand of craziness - i don't need a drug company's assistance adding manufactured hormones.
one of the picture quotes i read today was something about how what a shame it was that people these days spent so much time pretending that they didn't care about the person they liked when really, they should be doing everything they can to show they care. the worst part is that i know i'm like that and i know it's just self-preservation but what is love if it's not putting yourself out there, heart exposed and all?
right now, i'm not answering a text message he just sent me simply because it took him two hours to respond to the one i sent him. TWO HOURS. no, my mind isn't going crazy with what (or who) he might have been doing in those two hours. how juvenile am i? but why couldn't he just answer the damn text when it came in???
BabyMan always says that this craziness is my fault because i don't trust him. and for a minute, i always buy into that and feel bad that i don't trust him. and then i remember that there isn't anything to trust because there is no commitment.
flapping in the breeze. shit, i feel a poem coming on. this is not good.
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