i wonder if i'm trying to rush things. actually, i don't need to wonder - i know i am. i just love this gooey, mushy, warm and fuzzy feeling i have had these past two or three weeks. ever since we hashed out the ex-GF thing, things have been so much better. and yet part of me wonders - is it really better or do i just want it to be better? am i making up things to create drama or am i really bothered by them?
i might just be having a hard time adjusting. after all, it's been four years since i've had to care about anyone else's feelings but my own. i have to get used to the differences between him and my previous BFs (not that he's got that title yet but it takes too long to call him "the guy i'm dating"). in many ways, probably in the "guy" ways, he's similar to my last BF. loves his sports and beer and macho, manly stuff. at the same time, also similar to the ex, he's really emotional and (even more so than the ex), emotive (i.e. he wears his heart firmly planted on his sleeve). that's pretty much where the similarities end but is that enough to make me feel cautious about what i'm getting myself into?
my insecurities have always gotten the better of me. i wonder when i'll finally allow myself to turn the tables and get a hold of them instead?
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