old habits

it bothers me that he still talks about his ex. it's never anything too praising or too damning but rather, it's anecdotes about their life together. and it's driving me nuts. it doesn't help that he has brought up not once, but twice how big her boobs are. i don't need to know.

so i sent him an email. one of my infamous "non-confrontational" emails, used to facilitate discussion. in it, i even said that if he needed time to work things out with her (because she emailed him on friday to invite him to dinner at her parent's place for thanksgiving) that i would step back and let him do what he needed to do. the weird part is that, despite the fact that i really like him, i'm not scared that he might actually take me up on it. perhaps it's because we really haven't been together all that long. it just feels like we have.

i have mentioned this many times but i hate that i think so much. it is more of a hindrance than a help but i can't figure out a way to deal with it. most of my relationship problems stem from my insecurities and i'm fully aware of that. yet, i still manage to think myself into a slight frenzy everytime things don't go quite the way i planned.

i made sure that any "threat" i made in my email, i was okay with going through with. i just hope i don't have to. even when he's making me crazy, i'd still rather be with him than be alone with my thoughts and theories. that's quite something if you know me.