undaunted

i feel strangely undaunted by the events of this evening. Crush's friend ended up coming to the show. he had phoned me and said he'd be leaving the office at about 6:30 or 7 and would be walking to the venue. i told him my plan was to park near the office and take the bus down but if i got there before he left, i would walk with him.

when i got to the office, i was just about to push the elevator button when one opened. out Crush came. i went in the elevator and he told me that he was going to meet his friend. i said i would meet him at the venue. that was my first "huh." of the night.

i ended up taking the bus to the venue just because it'd be faster and lord help me if i ended up walking behind them. i was seated for about 10 minutes and they arrived. she was adorable. dark, almost black hair and turquoise blue eyes. cute as a button and nice. he sat in between us and she and i ended up chatting over him. they chatted, he and i chatted, she and i chatted. if i were assessing the situation, i would have to say that he did make an effort to include me in conversation. i would put in my two bits in their conversations but basically, i felt like someone who ended up sitting beside two people who knew each other.

during intermission, i had to go to the loo. she got up to get food and asked him if he was going to stay there. he said he'd go walk around. he walked ahead and she and i chatted about feeling old (because the average age of the musical's cast was probably 20). i branched off and braved the port-o-potties and met them back at the seats.

when the show was over, all three of us got up to leave and they led the way. she looked like she was making an effort to walk ahead of us and he looked like he was torn between hanging back to walk with me and walk up with her. second "huh." of the night.

when we got to the top exit, they looked like they were heading towards the road. i said, "are you guys gonna walk back?" and she said, "i'm going to," and she looked at Crush, who asked me if i drove. i told him i parked by the office and i said i'd just take the bus back. the girl gave me a look, almost imploring ("huh." #3) but i said that it was already 10 and the bus would get me back faster than walking. i told her it was nice to meet her and i am quite certain i saluted him and said, "see you tomorrow." i don't have a poker face and i'm not sure what look i gave him but that was the end of the night.

and yet, despite how nutso i was yesterday (and this morning, to be honest), i don't feel like this has been a set-back at all. i just shows me that i need to step back and he needs to man up. he's interested in me - i'd bet money on it - and for me to say that, you know it's obvious, but thus far, it's been me prodding him along. i will take my psychic's advice (and the advice of all of my girls so far) and now that this night is done, leave it up to him to make the next move.

as far as i can analyze, i don't feel i did anything improper tonight, as in i don't feel like i was being sulky in not being with him, if that makes any sense. his intention was to take this girl and his brother's girlfriend to the show. the latter bowed out and i bought the ticket from him. his objective wasn't to go to the show with me, and by not even suggesting that we walk together or pick up his friend together and then all walk there, says to me that he didn't see this evening as us going to the show together. he saw it as him going to the show with is friend and that i would be there too. i was pleasant and chatty but i didn't try to insert myself between them because i didn't feel i was "with" them. i was a third wheel, but it's okay. truly.

i am now very glad i left my business card for our cute server this morning. haven't done that in a long time but he, he hugged me and told me he loved me. he deserved it. :)