back to green

i spent the week eating chinese food, cinnamon buns, croissants and pizza, the latter being from work. i feel gross. i'm back to salads, except for the chocolate cravings i've been having. is it bad that i'm still eating chocolate, even though it doesn't taste good to me anymore? goes to show how deeply rooted my sweet tooth actually is.

my PMS really affects the way i perceive me and work. i know it's only a few days a month that i have to suffer through it (the PMS, i mean), but when my feelings about my job are magnified like that, it makes me wonder. but then i realized, i shouldn't wonder.

everyone is in the same position as me. i think at least half of people who are working are doing work that is not what they were trained to do or not challenging to them. but they do it because they're getting paid. i get paid well to do what i do, as i've always said (when i'm not on my high horse). i did the paralegal program so i could continue with the type of work i did at Crown, but get paid more. and now i am. i've determined a little substantive knowledge is a bad thing when put into the wrong head.

and we've also already determined that enough is never enough for me. if i were to go to law school, i would still face my challenges of not having complete autonomy and having people above me. once i became a lawyer, i'd just be an associate, not a partner. if i became partner, i'd want to be a judge. and even if i were a judge, my on-the-job actions would still be bound by the laws that govern. there is no real freedom in the corporate word. you are always accountable to someone. not that i don't want to be. but sometimes i do.

i shall challenge myself with other things - further courses, crosswords, languages...but not men. :)

did i mention i met the guy from the mixer a few weeks ago, Moe, for coffee last week? it was okay. i was tired and not feeling at all social so it was brief. i was feeling kind of bad about it. after all, the guy is in a new city and he doesn't know anyone here. his only family is in ottawa and it's just his sister. he's alone and he's just trying to make a friend and here i am, automatically assuming he wants to date me. i vowed that if he asked me to do something again that i would do it. well, he e-mailed me today and said he met a guy who was going to teach him salsa dancing in exchange for him teaching the salsa teacher how to do web design. i guess i'm going to learn how to salsa dance because he asked me if i wanted to go with him. i thought it sounded fun. will keep you posted.

hello, random.