sticky

and not in a good way. it's been stinking hot and grossly humid the past couple of days. really only yesterday but that made it feel like it had been weeks and weeks. it did rain this morning (with an accompanying thundershower....[shiver]) but i could've danced in that rain. it made the air so refreshing. now, it's just humid again. but the sun's out.

the Ninja and i (with Mon in tow) went for drinks the other night after work. i should've known something was up because instead of just coming to my desk to invite me out (where Mon would've heard and invited herself), he sent me an e-mail. but, i don't like being one on one with him, just because of the uncomfortable silences filled (from my end anyway) with stuff i want to say and questions i want to ask but avenues i just don't want to go down on my own, you know? anyway, it turns out he wanted to bounce some ideas off me and tell me things that were going on in his life (in his own way, of course). i regretted dragging Mon into it because without her, i would've delved into more in-depth information. like, how are the kids handling the breakup and how is he doing? what is he doing with a 24-year old chippy? etc, etc. i wish he would just say, "hey, i have some ideas i want to run by you. do you want to get a drink after work?" how hard is that? hard, i know.

and on that note, and i am not quite sure how i'm going to do this, but i've decided to stop getting so invested in what happens in other people's lives. Mon is dating this new guy she met in Whistler (he's come down from Whistler to meet her for lunch, then hung around so he could take her to dinner too). he sends her texts and cute e-mails. i get a good feeling about him - this could be the guy for her! so i've been telling her she needs to get rid of her current live-in. nagging, more like it. i mean, really, if the tables were turned and it was her that was making all this effort, would she like to learn after a month that this fabulous guy she's been pursuing has a sort-of ex-girlfriend who is also his financially-convenient "roommate" who still shares his bed and for all intents and present-day purposes is his girlfriend? she'd flip out and have a melt-down. and yet, she doesn't see that this is what she's doing to him? i hope she tells him soon. and i hope his laid-back Aussie personality takes over when she tells him because it's not going to be pretty otherwise.

and then there's Doc Tardy. she has this (by her description) hot, young guy after her (in serious pursuit) and she's dismissing him before even spending any time with him because she thinks he's younger than her and therefore too young for her. i have told her numerous times to just give the guy a chance and she always says, "you're right, you're right" and then the next time i talk to her, she's talking about blowing off the next rescheduled coffee date because "he's too young." she claimed his text messages were so immature and that's why she thinks he's too young. yesterday, she read one of the exchanges to me and what did she think was immature? he wrote her after seeing her briefly one day and said, "you looked so beautiful when i saw you today." wow, so immature eh? tell him to start sending them to me - at least i'd appreciate it!

yes, okay, i get it - she's not used to getting those kinds of compliments, but do you think it's going to get any better as she gets older? if she keeps pushing these guys away that are chasing her , she'll just continue to chase guys who have no real interest in her. and then her frustrations will continue and she will continue to think that there are no men out there to date when really, she's rejected all of the ones that were viable candidates because they were too young...or too old...or weren't in the right job...or not Italian enough...or too Italian...or who worked too much...or didn't work enough....or was too silly....or too serious. the list goes on.

and then there's my cousin's girlfriend. we were all at a family gathering the other day, talking wedding plans for Kitch's wedding. and when we were all gushing over Kitch's engagement ring and then talking about centrepieces and wedding colors and venues... i don't know for sure, but i was definitely getting a "why isn't that me?' vibe from the look on MCG's face. i feel for her, i really do, and i hope it works out for them sooner rather than later, but how much more can you feel for someone who has voluntarily returned to the same the same situation she was in, with no improvements or advancements to my knowledge, not once but twice? she has set the precedent for how things will naturally work themselves out - she will always have to give in, with no compromise. it's heartbreaking.

but i'm tired of beating my head against the wall for people that don't care to better their situation. more than tired. it's not my life. i have no stake in the outcome of the situation. if a person chooses to live their life in a way that is not in line with my own beliefs, who am i to say they're wrong? live and let live, right? i'll do my best. and i'll be there if and/or when they fall. but i will try not to say, "i told you so!"

i don't know if i mentioned it before, but i talked to Mike (the one from Creston, not the crazy one) on the phone last monday. we didn't get a chance to talk much over the long weekend. i managed to position myself in a spot where i could be alone but visible and he took the bait and sat with me. we managed to chat for a couple of minutes before someone came up and sat with us. the whole weekend was a wash as far as he was concerned but i figured i would take Nike's advice (and the advice Zen master, Seung Sahn) and just do it. i wrote him a message on FB that just said it was nice to see him over the long weekend and that it was a shame we didn't get to chat more. i acknowledged that it was hard for us to talk with all of the other people present and then invited him to call me if he felt like chatting or if he was in town. within two days, he phoned. and not once, but three times because the first two times, i wasn't home. we talked for about an hour and a half and it wasn't me that did all the talking!

i realize that whatever it is with Mike will probably not come to anything. i mean it could and i'd definitely be in to trying for something but i don't know how it would end up in the long run. i could go and visit him (and i was kind of getting that vibe from him but then, i could be and probably am totally off) and he could come and visit me and we could have a LDR. apparently that's how most of his relationships have gone. but i wouldn't move to Creston. and he doesn't want to move from there. there is less for me there, work and family/friend wise, than if he were to live here, but he's just not the big city type. there are 10,000 people in Creston and even then, he lives on the outskirts of town. i don't know. i won't count my chickens before the cart goes before the horse, but i think all this will end up being is an annual distraction. but he is cute. :)

noon. i really hope my boss doesn't call me to come in now.