crave

i love to shop. i love to spend money. i get a thrill out of having new things. even if it's just a new pair of socks or a fresh tube of toothpaste, i want it. it's my addiction. it's controllable when i stay out of the mall and stay focused on other things. but i had to go see my eye doctor today and it was at metropolis. and there were back to school/end of summer sales everywhere. and i had 15 minutes to kill. and i almost bought this , in red. but i resisted. it was really hard because this style of handbag is one i've been wanting for a very long time. i rationlized that i did not need a new purse. i reminded myself that i'm trying to pay off my existing debt so i can find out what it's like to actually live on my salary (instead of just paying off debt and living off the bare minimum). but i modeled it in the mirror. and i smelled the leather. and it was so hard to walk away when it was the only red one left. soooooooooooooooo hard.

then i walked by ronsons and they were having a sandals sale. i found these, which I already have in red:

i love my red pair. i could run in them. in fact, had i know how much i had loved them, i would've bought them in other colors at the shoe sale. but i didn't. and then i found them at the mall today, at warehouse sale prices. but i resisted. it was hard.

but then i walked by tristan and they had an additional 50% off on their summer staples. so i bought three shirts for $24. will i wear them? most definitely. did i need them? nope. but i did it anyway. and yet i know it wasn't right because when i walked out of the store, i didn't feel good. it didn't feel right.


i hate it when i do this to myself.