pattern

i was snarly today. i hated everything and every one. everything was stupid. everyone was a moron. at about 10 am, i said to myself, "Self, what is wrong with you??" and then i realized - i'm PMSing.

i forgot about my mood journal about mid-way through October so i will have to start again so i can see the pattern. but i think this pattern, the snarly-i-hate-everything pattern is firmly established. i feel ridiculous being so grumpy and miserable, but it's very hard to control. i figure i'm doing well because i'm not snapping at people or getting angry for no reason - all i do i stay quiet and stew in my own thoughts but apparently, that makes people edgy too. what, am i supposed be Little Miss Sunshine all the freaking time??? would they rather me ignore them or get angry at every stupid thing that makes me GRRR? i think i'd rather be ignored for the day and then be treated normally the next day, wouldn't you?

i wonder if the Rx needs to be changed up again. although, i'm not crying at random things so that's a plus. snarly-me is just really hard to deal with, even just for myself.

GRRRRRR. Rowr.