draft of something

i've been skulking on a speed-dating website for some time now. i routinely receive their newsletters and i'll log on every now and then to look at the pictures of all the pretty singles having fun and meeting people. every once in awhile, it sparks something in me. nothing big enough to light the proverbial fire under my tush that would cause me to sign up for one of the events, but it sparks something nonetheless.

the other day, i opened my e-mail to find another newsletter from them. i wasn't in the mood to read up on what other people were getting up to, but i read it over quickly and found that it wasn't just any event notice - it was a FREE event notice.

not being someone who can resist anything free, much less something that i'm curious about, i clicked on the link and found that their speed dating event, taking place the very next night, had two spots available for women and those spots would be free to whomever responded first. i quickly e-mailed them and reserved the two spots for my girlfriend and i. she wasn't able to join me, but i decided i was going to go anyway.

the event was scheduled to start at 7:30 p.m. i arrived at about 7:20 p.m. and as i walked up to the door of the cafe it was being held at, i noticed that there was no one else there. i opened the doors, and there were two other women standing there. i smiled and said hello and commented about the lack of people at such a late hour. we ended up sitting together while waiting for the rest of the event-goers to show up.

as we sat and chatted (it was their first time speed-dating as well), men started to show up. lots and lots of men. they joined us at our table and we all started talking. it felt "against the rules" to be chatting up people you'd be soon learning about in the process anyway, but i thought i could warm up my "A" game before anything really started.

the concept is simple: in our case, there were two rows of eight tables. on the inside of the rows sat the women and the men rotated from table to table on the outside. we were all given cards with a list of the opposite sex's names - if I liked someone, i'd put a checkmark next to their name. if he liked me in return, he would check my name. we had five minutes per person to chat. let the games begin.

the first guy that sat with me worked in computers. when he talked, he wouldn't look directly at me but rather, would gaze just past me. if i was talking, he'd try to make eye contact. but the minute he started saying something, he would look off into the distance. no checkmark there.

the next guy was really nice - he loved the beach and hot weather and did jive dancing as a hobby. and he worked with computers.

a couple of guys later, i re-met one of the men that sat down with me and the other two girls at the beginning of the night. because we had already met, he started off by taking my hand, putting three different coins into my palm and asking me what he deemed a "skill-testing question" to see if i was more than just a pretty face. i passed. i had heard the riddle before (many times, the first time being on an episode of "The Brady Bunch"), so I ended up impressing him with my brain as well. it bothered me, slightly, that all he talked about was where he was going to take me for our first date. presumption is not exactly attractive in those kinds of situations.

another guy immediately launched into how embarrassed he was to be there and how he would never own up to having attended speed dating if asked. then he started talking about how his last relationship had just ended a couple of months prior. note to the brokenhearted out there: don't go to speed dating for therapy. five minutes is not enough time.

there was one guy who sat down and i immediately felt the chemistry as i gazed across the table at him. he didn't have much to say, but he said enough with his eyes. i made a mental note to check off his name when the time came. it did not bother me that he worked with computers.

the guy after that one was pleasant enough, but when the gong sounded, he immediately opened his card in front of me, made a very obvious motion of checking off my name, and then smiled and moved on to the next table. i was stymied. but i didn't do the same for him. the fact that he worked with computers probably didn't help.

and finally, the guy i had been eyeing since he had sat down beside me at the beginning of the night was sitting in front of me. he was a mixture of cute but geeky and smart but a bit shy. his family background was similar to mine (in that he actually spent a lot of time with his family) and he seemed like he was geniunely interested in what i had to say. he started off his career as an engineer (he's smart!) but was now teaching math and science at a high school (he cares!). his background was chinese and italian (he speaks fluent italian but doesn't look like he should!) did i mention he did not work with computers?

when the final gong rang and we all had a chance to review the list of names, i played it cautious and only checked off two names: the guy with the chemistry and the guy with a future.

i left the event feeling very positive and light-hearted. it was a lot of fun; more fun than i've ever had on my own with a room full of strangers.

i tried not to check my e-mail constantly for the next two days but i must say that when i received the matches e-mail two days later, i was excited. however, i had only matched with Mr. Chemistry. i guess Mr. Future did not feel the same about me as i did about him!

for a minute after realizing Mr. Future had not selected me, i felt a bit like one of the women at the rose ceremony on "The Bachelor". i thought we really had a connection. i thought we would've been great together. i thought i saw a future with him. but not to be. sob, sob, sob. ahem.

Mr. Chemistry contacted me immediately. we set up a coffee date for that weekend.

we met up and it was awkward. we chatted for awhile and it was awkward. i decided pretty early on in the meeting that this guy was not it. about an hour after we met up, i delivered my usual, date-ending line, "so, what are your plans for the rest of today?" and he shifted uncomfortably, smiled sheepishly and said, "well...uh...i'm going to meet another one of the girls i met at speed dating the other night." i tried not to laugh or show any reaction on my face. i merely said, "that's great!" when he walked me to the train and we parted ways, i wished him a good evening and good luck with the other girl.

back to the drawing board!