greener

i don't know why i'm always looking, regardless of what it is. i'm always looking for a better pair of pants or a better face cream or a better looking guy to crush on. i always seem to be looking for a better job that pays better money and where the people respect your work and treat you as an equal.

i always want to learn something new instead of improving, and perfecting, what i already know. i'm always looking at going back to school and always looking at what different courses i can take, or how far i can go with another degree.

it's like i'm never 100% happy with what i have, even though what i have is generally pretty good. my work, while it can get very boring, can be pretty interesting when things heat up. for the most part, the people i work with respect me and my opinion and treat me pretty well. i have a pretty good education and earn a pretty good living (knock on wood).

i wrote to Nige the other day in answer to his question about whether i thought i wanted to find someone special to spend the rest of my life with and whether i thought i would. in my answer, i said to him, "i am most unhappy with my life when i compare what i have and what i have done with other people." it's true - if you compare yourself with what your friends have, you're bound to find someone who is much better off than you. you're also bound to find someone who is not as well off as you.

i think if i could stay on track and just focus on what i have and how i can make myself better, i would obsess less about keeping up with the rest of the world, even though i don't think that's what i'm doing. but i am. and it's driving me crazy.

maybe now that i now practice (for the most part) "No More Drama", it is no longer required as my mantra and i can use something else. How about:

Focus.......