listen

i just got off the phone with Doc Tardy. she just doesn't really hear me sometimes. i was telling her about the procedure i'm going to have done in a couple of weeks. she asked if it would affect my fertility and i said, "it might, but they don't really have any real statistics either way because the procedure is fairly new." i then went on to tell her that it didn't really matter to me whether i could have kids or not because 1) i don't necessarily want children and 2) "having" kids to me does not equal "bearing" children. i could just as easily adopt - children are children. whether they have my eyes or not has no bearing on me. she said, "oh yeah." not two minutes later, she goes on to tell me a story of this woman she saw on Good Morning America who had to go through radiation treatment after her bout with cancer but managed to still bear her own children a few years later. "See?," she said, " You still have hope!" Oy.

the Duckster has announced that, after two years of being a paralegal, she's finally decided to take the plunge and go to law school. of course, the announcement made me think about my own path to law school again, but i'm happy just being happy for her. she loves the work too much to just be on the sidelines. she needs to be up front and leading the team. i hope she does well. she doesn't take well to doing poorly so i know she'll work hard but i am not sure she's really aware of how strenuous law school really is. rewarding, but strenuous.

last night, i decided to read over the material the doctor gave me about the procedure because i wanted to know what to expect the day i checked in and that sort of thing. bad idea because i started crying. it was obviously a necessary cry because everytime i thought of the procedure, i would tear up. but then i started thinking about work and i really started to sob. i think i'm just under stress, generally. as for the procedure itself, if they were to just put me under, i would be fine. because it's local, i'm not so sure. i don't want to be aware of whatever is going on. i can deal with waking up in pain - i just don't want to witness the procedure that causes it!

i e-mailed MGF today, just to see how his health ailments were (gawd, are we getting old or what?). he said, among other things, "it's weird you should e-mail me. i just had a dream about you the other night." i e-mailed back, "do i even want to know what it was about?" he sent back, "it's not appropriate to discuss over e-mail, but let's just say that your losing streak ended quite nicely." why does he tell me things like that? it's weird. he's weird. i'm not reading into it. he's a guy.

this weekend is thanksgiving and 20 of my closest family members are trucking down and across the border to a rented house on the water. it looks lovely. i think it will be fun - shopping and chilling and hanging out. if i could only convince my aunt that a turkey dinner is not required, it would be a perfect weekend. i will have to make something else or i'll go hungry. i wonder where the closest Olive Garden is?