updates

i'm going to Greece! it sounds so bizarre saying that. it's not really a place that people go everyday. it's not like saying, "i'm going to California" or "i'm going to New York". i guess that's why people say it. my boss went to Hong Kong a couple of months ago and he couldn't stop saying it. i think most people refer to their vacation as "vacation" and not usually by the destination. maybe i'm wrong. but for a couple of weeks prior to his vacation, he kept saying, "well, when i'm in Hong Kong..." or "that'll have to wait until i'm back from Hong Kong." that being said, it's 20 days until i leave for Greece!!!

oh, it's a 9-day Greek island cruise, basically. the first three days are spent in Athens and then we cruise to 5 islands with one stop in Turkey (not Istanbul, unfortunately, but i will get to see the ancient city of Ephesus!). and i'm going with my mom. not my ideal travel partner but then again, she's funding the trip so who am i to complain?

as for the love-life, you can see it two ways: non-existent or on the brink of exploding. i had a date with a guy i met online on thursday. he spent the first 20 minutes talking about how much money he had. i determined in the first 10 minutes i didn't want to see him again. ugh. then there's another guy i met online that i thought would turn into something but he doesn't seem to think that getting together is of great importance. we went out once and it was really nice and that's why i thought for sure i'd see him again soon. not so. we've talked on MSN a couple of times since and on the phone and he's asked me to go out a number of times but he never makes a firm plan. weird.

then, there are the boys at work. we won't talk about the Office Crush as we already know that it's a hopeless case. but i keep trying :) no, there is a bike courier at work that is apparently going to ask me out. he's been talking to my receptionist about me and she's been keeping me abreast of the goings on. i don't see him much, only when i relieve at reception. he's really nice. he's the one that used the "Miss Tahiti 1999" on me. i understand from my receptionist that he's afraid i'll turn him down or it won't work out and we'll stop using his company for courier work. methinks he's had some rejection in the past! i was at reception on friday when he came in. unfortunately, when he came in, one of the lawyers was up front reading the paper at the counter so i only managed to smile and say hi to him. oddly enough, my Office Crush walked up behind him and to me and asked me for help. i managed to smile and wave goodbye to the courier while i was also trying to give my Office Crush my full attention. hard to do.

and of course, i began thinking about what that meant. had i been alone in reception, he probably would've asked me out then (maybe). he likely would've chatted me up more, in any event. yet circumstances were such that i wasn't alone and moreover, i was with my OC. did it happen this way because i'm not supposed to go out with him? or did it happen this way so i could see, at the same time, that the way my OC looks at me is nothing compared to the way the courier looks at me? the courier has this sort of dreamy, smitten look when he says hi to me. my OC doesn't really get that look. although, sometimes when we're just chatting about nothing related to work, he does have this sort of smouldering, bedroomy look in his beautiful blues. he is Greek, after all.

update - i have a date tomorrow night with the wayward online guy. we'll see how it goes. well, i know it will go well; it's just that i don't understand why he doesn't call me. i was determined not to give him the time of day if he had the nerve to phone again but in his message, he didn't sound like he felt he had done anything wrong. don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. in any event, the plan is made. i will keep you posted.

one more day

i don't know if i can make it. this morning, the cat sat on my chest and stomped her front paws back and forth until i woke up. i got up to feed her and then went back to bed. within minutes, she was back on the bed, mewing at me. i don't get cats.

i may just clean up and leave today, stopping by tomorrow at lunch maybe to make sure she's got enough food. makes sense - that way i don't have to worry about doing laundry when i get home tomorrow to make sure they have clean sheets when they get back. plus, i'm out of food anyway. :)

on a different note, i'm going to apply for a job at the law society. it took me that job posting to realize that i am not doing what i want to be doing. i'm not even slowly working towards what i want to do. i'm just not doing what i intended to do at all. i love the law firm i work at and my bosses and most of the people i work with but it's not the reason i became a paralegal. the law society posting is right up my alley - mostly legal research and giving opinions, interviewing witnesses, document management - it was like it was written for me. and posting closes on friday. i will phone them tomorrow to find out who to direct my application to (something i was taught in school!) and then i'll send it off. i am thinking about giving the boss the heads up but i don't want to jinx it. i have positive thoughts and if i don't get it, i'll be disappointed but at least i know now where my frustration in my job lies. how to fix it is another story.

coffee

i had coffee with dave this morning. it was really nice. he came by my building (he was smoking on the bench outside when i walked out. my first words to him were, "oh, gawd, you're not still smoking are you?") and we walked down to starbucks at mainland and davie. we had coffee and a good chat for about an hour then walked around for another 20 minutes. i was trying to convince him that his independently owned drycleaner was not open today and likely not his barber either. we had to walk to his drycleaner and actually see that it was closed for him to believe me. i then tried to convince him to walk the six blocks to his barber instead of drive, regardless of whether or not it was open and then we said our goodbyes. it was really nice. did i say that already?

i lazed around for a good couple of hours afterwards - came home, had lunch, watched my "house" dvds in bed - and then finally dragged myself out of the apartment and onto the downtown streets. it was supposed to rain today but when i left, it was cloudy and the sun was just starting to poke through. it was so nice.

i walked to MAC on robson. i was ignored by three or four salesgirls until a guy finally came up to me and asked me if i needed help. i ended up buying two pots of eyeshadow and a lipgloss from him. he looked like (i'm not kidding) chris kattan but with much prettier eyes and far more flaming. good choice in lipgloss color, though.

i then walked to london drugs, the aldo outlet and finally, chapters where i proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon. i browsed through every bargain book and was going to buy a coffee table book called "degrees", which is a black & white photo book of celebrities who are 6 degrees or less from kevin bacon. i didn't end up leaving with it but i think i will go back tomorrow. my excuse was that i don't have a coffee table to put it on yet. i still think that's a good excuse.

i proceeded back towards the apartment, stopping at shopper's drug mart at homer and nelson (i'm throwing out street names because i'm getting better at figuring out which way is which!) to pick up a gingerale and a bag of chocolate eggies. the last damn bag of eggies in the store. take that! as i walked down the street towards the apartment, i looked across the street and there was a guy, walking in the same direction with a shopping bag. we exchanged glances back and forth until he ducked into the 7-11 and i mentally patted myself on the back for finally living "the life".

talk about fate

i am in yaletown. the last time i was cat-sitting in yaletown, i tried to make coffee date plans with dave. they fell through. i have long decided to stop beating my head against the proverbial wall and stop calling him/emailing him/in general, just cease all unnecessary communications with him. i was okay with this.

i went to a welcoming ceremony for a lawyer i know who was recently elevated to the bench. it was at the courthouse on smithe street so me and my boss walked there after work. the courtroom was crowded and we arrived with a minute left before they began. i scooted into the aisle to get a better view of the seating situation and who is the first person i lock eyes with? dave. who works in surrey. i pretended not to see him (very smooth, i know). but i didn't want to not talk to him. so at the reception afterwards, i sort of sidled up to him and we chatted. and for the record, he's the one who brought up coffee. ok, so i casually mentioned that i was housesitting near him. a block away from him. on the same street. and as he left, he made sure to ask if i still had his number. i hesitated and asked if he had mine. he said he might but he had a new phone. then he said, "well, you know where i work. call me there if you don't have my cell." too easy.

i will call him - you know i will. but i have zero expectations now. we're just friends and i'm okay with that. really i am. no, really. :)

ol' blue eyes

my Office Crush is so cute. he wore a shirt that i really like today. i'm sure i've told him i liked him in it but i should've said it again today. he got a delivery today while i was covering for our receptionist's break so i decided i would take it to him on my way back to my desk. our receptionist said i was going to make his day because he'd been looking forward to this package for awhile. i knocked at his door and, sure enough, the minute his eyes saw the package, his eyes lit up and this huge grin spread across his face. it was like a kid at Christmas, the way he dove into it. and, i've discovered we have another thing in common (aside from thinking that life should be like a movie musical): old, used books. he told me about this website he orders used books from and i e-mailed him later and asked him what the website address was. at the end of the day (i worked late again), he came by the printer at my desk to pick up something he printed, started off back to his desk then came back and said, "so, you like old books?" i told him i collected old poetry books. he asked me which poets and i said, "keats, tennyson, yeats, wordsworth...the romantic lot." and he smiled and nodded appreciatively. then he asked if everything with my condo purchase was sorted out and i said yes and told him that i'd be sending out invitations for my moving party soon so if anyone had an SUV or a pickup truck... he said, "i have a pickup truck!" and i said, "well, then i'll be needing you soon." and he said, "i might be selling it." and i laughed.

he's so cute. i stopped by his office on my way out, not hoping for anything but i thought i'd ask him what he had planned for the weekend. reading the book and painting his apartment were on the agenda. i wasn't going to ask him out so i didn't but i wish i had just put it out there. then again, how smart would that have been since he hasn't really expressed too much interest, other than a passing interest.

on a slightly different note, the other day, i was cleaning out some of my desk drawers at home. i keep all of my "goodbye" cards from where i've worked in the past and i read the one i got when i left CWS. i was trying to decipher different handwriting and trying to picture what this person or that person looked like. and then, at the bottom of the card, in the corner, i read a sentiment that literally jolted my heart. i hadn't thought of him in a long time in the context of our relationship but i had thought of him recently. but seeing his handwriting and what he had to say about me leaving and the future and his name.... it was amazing the physical response, albeit split-second, those three lines of text caused. i haven't seen him in 8 years - can you believe that? not that i expected to bump into him but i guess i'm just not meant to. just like i haven't bumped into my ex, even though i've bumped into his friends on social occasions. weird the way life works, eh?

progress?

i've taken what the TV guy said to heart and i've put it into action.

today, on my way home i decided to stop off at pacific centre to see if there were any good sales on. there were (hush puppies for $32!). as i was paying for my shoes, a tall, cute blond guy walks by the cash register. i check him out. he's already checking me out. i avert my eyes briefly and then i look back up again as he walks by me. he smiles at me (!!!!!). i smiled back and ducked my head down to look for my credit card. ok, so, not great but it was something. at least i smiled back this time. normally, i'd just duck my head down and pretend i didn't even see him.

PROGRESS!

(and i got a pair of sunglasses for $14!)

no picture tube

the picture tube in the TV at my friend's place has blown. how do you tell someone, "i broke your TV"? it's their fault - they leave the TV on all day for the cat :)

so i went to my interview at the TV thing. it was videotaped - ugh! i bet i looked all fat and lumpy and gross. but i was chatty and i didn't talk with my hands too much so it went okay. i hope they don't pick me as a makeover subject. i mean, i think it would be cool but they need more time during the week and work hours than i'm willing to give them. besides, being a date for the subjects would be just as fun. still don't know about the whole TV thing.

i was reading over e-mails from a friend of mine - guy friend, used to be potential date but now he tells me so much about his sex life that i'm sure he's not interested in me anymore. anyway, it's such a shame that we met when we were both at different places in our lives. we get along so well and i think he's great. but i think i know too much about how he "is" and vice-versa that i don't think we'll ever get together. oh well.

i am still contemplating whether i should drive home to get some lighter shirts to wear to work (fabric-wise). i have one more t-shirt type top but i wore it just this past thursday or friday and god forbid i wear the same thing twice in less than a week! it may have to be done, however, as it's just too bloody hot to wear sweaters. what was i thinking?

back in town

yaletown, that is. i'm cat sitting for the next two weeks and have the luxury of walking to work everyday. i did it for the first time today and i quite enjoyed it (aside from getting rained on). i know i would've liked to have done it as a regular thing but i'm really looking forward to moving into my place. MY place. my PLACE. woo hooo!

a coffee date just cancelled on me via text message. i wasn't too happy about the method but then again, i've been guilty of cancelling by e-mail so i can't be too mad. i'm disappointed, though. on MSN, he's kind of manic. on the phone, he was rather subdued. don't know if he was just nervous or disappointed in the sound of my voice or he's just stupid but it's not looking too promising anymore.

the TV show that considering me for a reality-show date called me today after a few weeks of no contact. i'm going to meet them tomorrow after work. i don't know if i ever mentioned it in my previous blogs but there is this show that advertised for date makeovers so i went to the website and signed up. i put a picture too, which helped, apparently. well, the guy i talked to ended up counselling me (this was in December) about the stupid Boy and told me that i wasn't right for the show because i was "technically" not single. anyway, a few days later, he phones me again and asks if i would be interested in being a "date" to the makeover candidates. he also assures me that one of the reasons why they didn't pick me for a makeover is because i didn't need half as much work, date-wise, as the people they picked for the show! makes me feel a little better. but i'm still nervous about meeting the production guy. i mean, i sent them the picture that's on this blog. i hope they don't think i was grossly misrepresenting myself!

my Office Crush chose to sit beside me not once but twice at a going-away lunch for his secretary. i took it as promising but i'm not getting my hopes up! he wore a blue tie yesterday that (i'm not kidding you) made his already beautiful blue eyes look like pools of blue-colored water. soooooooo nice.

damn these seagulls.

back to my Office Crush. i know i should give up on him but it's just so easy to look at him. i learned today that he's been begging for candy at another girl's desk. she's a married woman but i wonder why he's not coming to me. it doesn't help that my desk mate likes to flirt with him. and he seems to enjoy it. i know i should give up. but i can't. not yet. or, i should just get it over with and ask him out. but i can't. not yet.

:)

gawd, i'm not feeling good about myself. i should not be meeting the TV guy tomorrow!