what to do?

i need new friends. except, the new friends i do have aren't as fun as my "old" friends so i don't like to go out with them as much. but my old friends don't like to go out, period. what's a girl to do?

i don't think it's that they don't want to go out. i think it's more that as adults, we just have so much more on our plate than we did ten years ago. but does everything have to centre around going for coffee/dinner/drinks? can't we head to a football game between our rival universities? get together for game night? bake cookies?

okay, i don't really know what girlfriends are supposed to do now that we're passed the bar stage. i have one girlfriend who spends her free time looking at condos. another who's just starting up a new relationship. a third who is studying for a big qualifying exam so doesn't have a lot of free time and when she does, she has a lot of other friends she spends that time with.

i miss having a best friend. i don't think i've really had one since i was in elementary school. i've have close friends, partners-in-crime, girlfriends, etc. but not a best friend. no one i feel the need to talk to every single day. no one i feel i need to share every single piece of news with. actually, i guess the last best friend i had, by the above-definition, was the Ex. that was still 9 years ago.

perhaps i've just turned so far in that i don't know how to turn out again. i sometimes feel like when i talk or tell people stories or share news, that they're only half listening. i sometimes think it's the way i relate information - maybe i spend too much time setting up the story so by the time i get to the meat of it, no one cares anymore. i don't know. but it's gotten to the point where i just don't bother talking about everyday news. it has to be news or information that is really eating at me to be worthy of sharing. and then, i over-share and over-analyze. no happy medium.

i also considered, and was one click away from paying for, another session of speed-dating. it is to happen tomorrow and it's only $20. i figure i'd like to get out and just date, seeing as my friends need 4 - 6 weeks notice to plan anything as organized as a dinner or movie (not that we go to movies either). the age range was 25 - 35, and i realized that i was on the other end of that scale. i would have signed up, but something was nagging at me inside to just leave it for now.

i guess i'll just have to start my smile campaign again. maybe this time it'll get me somewhere.