scaredy cat

i admit it - i don't want to mess up my chances with this new guy, JW (and no, not that kind of JW).

i am intrigued by him and he, in turn, is intrigued by me - he's said as much -but i can't help wondering who else he's corresponding with. i know that's dumb because if i don't end up being the standout, well then he wasn't right for me anyway, etc., etc. but when someone captures my interest as keenly as he has, and the only thing that stands out about him physically for me is that he's tall, then you know he's something to me.

he thought it was cute that we've connected emotionally by email and phone (we haven't met yet). i almost told him that it's easy for me to connect with people by email and by phone because it's not a real connection. you're not sitting in front of someone, reading their face and their body language; you're reacting to the sound of their voice and what's coming out of their mouth, or the words they are typing. that's not real. not in the same way a face-to-face conversation is.

let's face it, i've lost a few opportunities because the face-to-faces did not live up to the emails. i can't say why. maybe i really just wasn't into them. and vice versa, of course.

i really should have done exit-interviews.