rebel

after being bombarded with dozens upon dozens of E-Harmony commercials, both on TV and on the radio, i decided to fill out their questionnaire, mostly to get my personality profile.

i was instantly matched up with 12 guys with great profiles. the catch? unlike lavalife, you both have to be subscribers to communicate with each other (i.e. no freebies). i got a few requests to "exchange first questions" but i couldn't send them my answers because i wasn't a subscriber. at that point, i turned off the matching because i figured there was no point in being matched up with other guys if i couldn't communicate with them. then, i went to their subscription page thinking that i would pay the $20 for a month-long subscription just so i could meet a couple of the guys. well, the $20 subscription was the bulk deal - i'd have to sign up for 6 months to get that price! month-to-month was $60. i'd rather buy a pair of shoes, thanks.

instead, in the last question box, which was, "is there anything else you'd like your matches to know about you?" i said, "yes, my e-mail address is ...." and filled in one of my many web-based addresses. the next day, i get an "urgent" message saying that i had violated one of the terms of the agreement (i.e. i put my e-mail address in my profile!) and that they had turned off the matching feature and wouldn't turn it back on until i wrote to them, 'splaining why i violated the agreement. i thought, "big deal, i already turned off the matching." if my matches are smart, they'll read over my profile one more time before they close the match :)

did i mention that i haven't been able to taste anything properly for about two weeks now? it's certainly helping with my weight loss as i'm just so disheartened by the fact that everything tastes either salty or like nothing at all that i've decided only to eat when i am about to pass out. any other reason is pointless. i went to the doctor yesterday and she couldn't figure out what the cause was either. she told me to monitor the condition for another few weeks and if it didn't improve, then she would send me to a neurologist to get some tests done. i googled the symptoms and all i got were people with a salty taste in their mouth. i have a perpetual sweet taste in my mouth but when i eat chocolate (which i do a lot...at least, i used to), it tastes salty. in fact, almost everything tastes salty. but if it's not salty, then it is bland and tasteless. sad. so sad. the ironic part is that i've been trying to cut down on my salt intake because of the high-blood pressure incident a month ago. incidentally, they took my blood pressure and it's normal and so is my heartbeat. weirdness.

but if i had to see the silver lining in all of this (and there are a few), one would be that i'm going to drop some weight. guaranteed. the other is that it's not my sight or hearing that is affected. if i stopped being able to see and hear, then i don't think life would be worth living for much longer after that. it's not like i'm a gourmet who can taste individual spices and flavourings in a dish. i just like what i like. but if i couldn't listen to my music anymore or people watch, that would be tragic. i guess we all have our favorite senses. those would be my two.

i was entering a contest on www.concierge.com last night and boy, was i waxing poetic when submitting my entries! it made me think that i should start writing again. it's like i go in cycles - sometimes i can write and write and it's effortless. then all of a sudden i go into a slump and i can barely string a sentence together.

there's so much i want to do with the rest of my life, career-wise. in a way, it's unfortunate that i grew up so comfortable, because i don't know how to be uncomfortable. i had a small, tiny taste of that "living hand-to-mouth" feeling when i first moved out on my own and it sucked. i hated it. i feel like i'm now at a place in my life where i am comfortable on my own and i don't want to do anything to mess with that. but i'm having the school yearnings again. and i think if i ignore this one, it will be the big regret of my life. granted, i feel like that with every action i decide against but this one...well, i think this one is the real deal. so much so that i don't want to tell anyone about it because i think this one is it.

my dining room table is a mess.