brick wall

why?

i'm chatting online with my cousin's girlfriend. they've been dating for almost 9 years and they've just gotten back together after another breakup over the "M" word. so i ask her whether they've started talking about it now that they're back together (because, what's the point in getting back together if you're not going to talk marriage, right?). she said that it was far too soon to be talking about marriage and that they're still trying to heal over the last bought of drama. huh?

then i asked her about how her fitness thing was going (because after they broke up, she started working out to get some aggression out and found out she loved it so she was going to take a personal trainer course and some day open up a gym), and she said that she had kind of loss her interest in it. but now she's looking into a real estate course or perhaps something else. she's still trying to find herself. whuh?

i know, i know. i have been there and i have done that and i could write the book about all the emotions that go with it. but because i've been there, i know. whatever version of herself she found when they were apart is being overshadowed by the her that was. it doesn't seem like there's been any growth in the six months they were apart. no growth means no lessons learned!!!

aaargh. why do i care? it's not my life and it doesn't affect me. but it hurts me to hear when people allow themselves to be railroaded - "allowed" being the operative word. BabyMan was telling me about his older brother who is going through a divorce. the brother and his wife are still living in the same house together, but his wife has a boyfriend and doesn't take care of the kids after work because she goes out with her boyfriend so the brother has to stay home with the kids. and when all is said and done, he's leaving the house (which is fully paid off, by the way) with just his clothes and some personal belongings. he's giving her everything. granted, he's doing that so he doesn't have to pay spousal support but that ends eventually!

why, why, why do i care? i spend so much time agonizing over other peoples' relationship mistakes and for what? i can't fix them. i can't tell them what to do. and they wouldn't do it even if i told them. i know people need to make their own mistakes but it kills me to see them making them!

probably a good thing i'm not a parent. my kid would be the most sheltered child ever.