i forgot to mention that when i was at the specialist the other week, she gave me the results of the bloodwork i had done when i went to see her last month and apparently, i'm slightly anemic. now, i don't know what "slightly" is or how it affects me physically but, at the very least, it explains why i've been so tired and slothy the past few months. it wasn't just psychosomatic; it was real! i wonder if it is also the reason why i've been so thirsty lately. some days, i drink a litre of water before i even leave for work. then, i have two litres when i'm at work. then, i come home and drink at least another half a litre. it's insane some days. and since we're at it, my lower back aches when the weather gets cold and rainy and i get dizzy really easily if i stand up too quickly.
has it really come to this? am i really talking about all my maladies? i'm tired. i'm going to bed. but first, a drink of water. i'm parched.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
escort
no, i don't have a new side job. although, there's a thought....
i attended at the Westclass bar dinner tonight with the gang from work. it was in my neighbourhood and the evening was just beautiful out so i was going to walk home. Sam was not hearing of it so she asks The Fluff if he would walk me home. i protested but he said he wouldn't let me walk home in our neighbourhood by myself. when the Ninja got word that The Fluff was walking me home, he said, "See you tomorrow...maybe." The Fluff responded, "i wasn't going to let her walk home alone. besides, this makes my stalking her a lot easier..." not that he is but i thought that was kind of amusing of him to say.
it was a very nice walk and, admittedly, we took the long way :) he popped in some gum at one point and i thought, "hmm, trying for the good-night kiss, are we?" no such luck! we joked around for most of the 10 minutes it took us but he walked me right to my front door, encouraged me to come to more meetings and shook my hand good night (bad handshake but my hand was numb from the cold so it's ok).
ah, a beautiful, cool, crisp spring evening and a walk with a really nice and cute guy. i think this was one of my nicest evenings spent this year.
i attended at the Westclass bar dinner tonight with the gang from work. it was in my neighbourhood and the evening was just beautiful out so i was going to walk home. Sam was not hearing of it so she asks The Fluff if he would walk me home. i protested but he said he wouldn't let me walk home in our neighbourhood by myself. when the Ninja got word that The Fluff was walking me home, he said, "See you tomorrow...maybe." The Fluff responded, "i wasn't going to let her walk home alone. besides, this makes my stalking her a lot easier..." not that he is but i thought that was kind of amusing of him to say.
it was a very nice walk and, admittedly, we took the long way :) he popped in some gum at one point and i thought, "hmm, trying for the good-night kiss, are we?" no such luck! we joked around for most of the 10 minutes it took us but he walked me right to my front door, encouraged me to come to more meetings and shook my hand good night (bad handshake but my hand was numb from the cold so it's ok).
ah, a beautiful, cool, crisp spring evening and a walk with a really nice and cute guy. i think this was one of my nicest evenings spent this year.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
strange things are afoot
is it the onset of spring or are weird things just happening to me lately?
first, i see my Ex after six years of not even bumping into him.
this morning, i get to work and remember that i had a voicemail that i didn't bother checking before i left the night before. i check it and it's my OC. i hadn't e-mailed or talked to him in awhile but the day before, me and this other woman (another "fan" of his) were reminiscing about him at lunch. and then, he phones me (which he never does), just to say hi (which he never does), lets me know he's going out of town for the week but will talk to me when he gets back (which he won't but it's nice to know he was thinking about me). you totally want me now, don't you? oh yeah. sooner or later, they always come back. sigh, don't i wish?
this afternoon, i was at Sears trying on sunglasses. as i'm walking down the street towards the skytrain station, about three blocks down, i notice that i've lost one of my new earrings (the gold ones, the ones that my mom bought me for Christmas - the only earrings of any value i own, the ones that were always coming out and have almost lost on a number of occasions). it was a beautiful, sunny day so i turned around and retraced my steps. i eventually found myself back in the sunglasses aisle at Sears, where i found my other earring on the floor. i immediately bought backers for them.
this evening, i'm sitting on the couch, transferring the contents of my old wallet to the new one i just bought this afternoon. i then think, "where's the best place to put my bus pass?" this is my employee pass, the year-long pass that has my picture on it. the one that saves me $156 a year on transit fares. the one i'm fanatic about making sure i always have. well, i lost it. either on the bus on the way back downtown from the doctor. or on the skytrain platform. or on the walk home from the skytrain. it'll cost me $50 to replace. i'm still ahead in yearly transportation savings but still! what kind of moron am i???
i'm spent. it's been a very eventful day!
first, i see my Ex after six years of not even bumping into him.
this morning, i get to work and remember that i had a voicemail that i didn't bother checking before i left the night before. i check it and it's my OC. i hadn't e-mailed or talked to him in awhile but the day before, me and this other woman (another "fan" of his) were reminiscing about him at lunch. and then, he phones me (which he never does), just to say hi (which he never does), lets me know he's going out of town for the week but will talk to me when he gets back (which he won't but it's nice to know he was thinking about me). you totally want me now, don't you? oh yeah. sooner or later, they always come back. sigh, don't i wish?
this afternoon, i was at Sears trying on sunglasses. as i'm walking down the street towards the skytrain station, about three blocks down, i notice that i've lost one of my new earrings (the gold ones, the ones that my mom bought me for Christmas - the only earrings of any value i own, the ones that were always coming out and have almost lost on a number of occasions). it was a beautiful, sunny day so i turned around and retraced my steps. i eventually found myself back in the sunglasses aisle at Sears, where i found my other earring on the floor. i immediately bought backers for them.
this evening, i'm sitting on the couch, transferring the contents of my old wallet to the new one i just bought this afternoon. i then think, "where's the best place to put my bus pass?" this is my employee pass, the year-long pass that has my picture on it. the one that saves me $156 a year on transit fares. the one i'm fanatic about making sure i always have. well, i lost it. either on the bus on the way back downtown from the doctor. or on the skytrain platform. or on the walk home from the skytrain. it'll cost me $50 to replace. i'm still ahead in yearly transportation savings but still! what kind of moron am i???
i'm spent. it's been a very eventful day!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Top o' the morning to you!
[All respond] And the rest of the day to you!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! that's it - that's all i'm doing for St. Paddy's day. :)
i did the right thing last night. i had some time to sleep, think it over. i didn't have any dreams about him last night. i thought about the whole thing this morning and approaching him yesterday wouldn't have done anything for me. if anything, it would have brought me more angst. sometimes, you need to get other people's opinions to find out what you really want to do. everyone i asked said i should say hi but i kept asking for opinions, hoping that someone would say, "why? what would it do for you - who you are - today?"
i just finished watching the academy-award winning documentary, "Born into Brothels". when it came out in the theatres initially, i really wanted to see it but never ended up doing so. not surprising since i hardly ever go to movies unless someone has asked me to go. i'm kind of glad i didn't go to see it in the theatre. maybe it's just this time of the month but it made me tear up more than once. it was so good.
the kids in this film were given cameras and basically documented their lives through still photos. many of the pictures were quite good and a few were amazing, considering that they were taking pictures with automatic cameras (oh, and that the photographers were under 12 years old). there were auctions selling the pictures and books and calendars and all of the money went to funding each child's education. they now have a chance at a decent life.
i think i cried because you know that there are more than just these eight children in india that are living in these kinds of conditions. there are millions of children in the world that will never receive the kind of help that these kids did and you begin to feel quite helpless. a monetary donation here and there will help but it won't greatly change their standards of living. i think that's the great philosophical and moral question: if a person doesn't know what they are missing, do you still help them? where do you begin?
Happy St. Patrick's Day! that's it - that's all i'm doing for St. Paddy's day. :)
i did the right thing last night. i had some time to sleep, think it over. i didn't have any dreams about him last night. i thought about the whole thing this morning and approaching him yesterday wouldn't have done anything for me. if anything, it would have brought me more angst. sometimes, you need to get other people's opinions to find out what you really want to do. everyone i asked said i should say hi but i kept asking for opinions, hoping that someone would say, "why? what would it do for you - who you are - today?"
i just finished watching the academy-award winning documentary, "Born into Brothels". when it came out in the theatres initially, i really wanted to see it but never ended up doing so. not surprising since i hardly ever go to movies unless someone has asked me to go. i'm kind of glad i didn't go to see it in the theatre. maybe it's just this time of the month but it made me tear up more than once. it was so good.
the kids in this film were given cameras and basically documented their lives through still photos. many of the pictures were quite good and a few were amazing, considering that they were taking pictures with automatic cameras (oh, and that the photographers were under 12 years old). there were auctions selling the pictures and books and calendars and all of the money went to funding each child's education. they now have a chance at a decent life.
i think i cried because you know that there are more than just these eight children in india that are living in these kinds of conditions. there are millions of children in the world that will never receive the kind of help that these kids did and you begin to feel quite helpless. a monetary donation here and there will help but it won't greatly change their standards of living. i think that's the great philosophical and moral question: if a person doesn't know what they are missing, do you still help them? where do you begin?
Friday, March 16, 2007
closure
so, i ended up going to the casino tonight. it was embarassing but mostly because our Receptionist screamed at winning at a two-cent machine (the thing kept dinging and tallying up her winnings but at two-cents, it ended up being about $94.00). these two guys (not my type), along with half the casino, were standing behind us watching the machine go. they asked each other, "how much is she going to win?" i turned to them and said, "she won $94.00." they laughed and said, "it sounds like she won the jackpot!" as they walked way, our Receptionist said, "hey, she's single!" oy.
we rendezvoused at the lounge after about 30 minutes of being there to determine what the plan was for the rest of the night. as we stood there, a guy walked by me. i thought to myself, "hey, that looks like the Layman, but with a faux-hawk." then another guy walked by me, who was talking to the first guy and i thought, "hey, that looks like the Ex but with a shaved head and kind of chubby." a second look yielded, "holy F, it is the Ex!" they went to go sit in the bistro to have a beer and chat. i wonder why they were there of all places. they sat there for about 90 minutes. i walked by at least four times and they didn't look up at me once.
you know, it's just over six years that we broke up, this month. it was the beginning of march 2001. spooky. the weirdest part about this was i was daydreaming about this last night, that i would bump into him at the casino and we would strike up a conversation and he would be so sorry that we weren't together anymore. i often have these daydreams and they never come true. ever. never. not once.
everyone i was with said i should say hi. i phoned my cousin and she said i should say hi. it was pretty unanimous.
i didn't say hi. i walked by them, one table away, and neither looked up. i will now outline why i did not say hello:
1) as far as "opportunities" went, he was there and i was there. that was it. i could've walked up to him and awkwardly said, "is that you?" but only 1% of me wanted to do it. everything in me said i shouldn't. had we made eye contact, then yes, i would've said hi. but as far as he knows, i wasn't even there.
2) the 1% reason i wanted to say hello is because i looked good and he did not. he looked scruffy, almost. baggy jeans, baggy shirt, baggy jacket, shaved head. WTF? he used to be hot. but that's not a "be the bigger person" reason. i think if i had been with different people, i would've said hi for just that reason.
3) i had nothing to say to him. i've spent years wondering how he was doing and what he was doing and the opportunity presented itself for me to actually find out and i didn't want to know. it didn't matter to me.
4) i didn't want to say hi just because i thought it was fate. i haven't seen him in 6 years and the first time i see him, he walks right by me in a building full of people, in a place i never go to. how fateful is that? but then again, he never looked up at me and he didn't bump into me. how fateful is that?
5) i didn't want to say hi because, as far as i'm concerned, he's a stranger to me now. if he's changed as much as i have over the last six years, then essentially, i don't know who he is and he doesn't know me either.
6) he didn't look good. not at all.
so, that's it. i think if i hadn't been so shocked about seeing him after all this time, i would've actually called out his friend's name (because i've seen his friend once or twice since the Ex and i broke up and it's always been amiable). a part of me is sad that i didn't say hello. then again, the other part of me is really glad i didn't. i don't know if that makes any sense and i don't know if it's meant to but it makes sense to me.
i'm not 100% sure, but i think i finally have closure. i don't think i need to talk to him to have it; just the sheer fact that i didn't need to run over to him and ask him how he'd been for the past six years says a lot. i think for the next day or so, i might feel a little sad but i think that's just habit more than actual feeling. it's hard to let go of it, the habit, but i think that's what i've been holding onto for so many years. maybe i'm just tired. i think i need to sleep on it and see how i feel tomorrow.
we rendezvoused at the lounge after about 30 minutes of being there to determine what the plan was for the rest of the night. as we stood there, a guy walked by me. i thought to myself, "hey, that looks like the Layman, but with a faux-hawk." then another guy walked by me, who was talking to the first guy and i thought, "hey, that looks like the Ex but with a shaved head and kind of chubby." a second look yielded, "holy F, it is the Ex!" they went to go sit in the bistro to have a beer and chat. i wonder why they were there of all places. they sat there for about 90 minutes. i walked by at least four times and they didn't look up at me once.
you know, it's just over six years that we broke up, this month. it was the beginning of march 2001. spooky. the weirdest part about this was i was daydreaming about this last night, that i would bump into him at the casino and we would strike up a conversation and he would be so sorry that we weren't together anymore. i often have these daydreams and they never come true. ever. never. not once.
everyone i was with said i should say hi. i phoned my cousin and she said i should say hi. it was pretty unanimous.
i didn't say hi. i walked by them, one table away, and neither looked up. i will now outline why i did not say hello:
1) as far as "opportunities" went, he was there and i was there. that was it. i could've walked up to him and awkwardly said, "is that you?" but only 1% of me wanted to do it. everything in me said i shouldn't. had we made eye contact, then yes, i would've said hi. but as far as he knows, i wasn't even there.
2) the 1% reason i wanted to say hello is because i looked good and he did not. he looked scruffy, almost. baggy jeans, baggy shirt, baggy jacket, shaved head. WTF? he used to be hot. but that's not a "be the bigger person" reason. i think if i had been with different people, i would've said hi for just that reason.
3) i had nothing to say to him. i've spent years wondering how he was doing and what he was doing and the opportunity presented itself for me to actually find out and i didn't want to know. it didn't matter to me.
4) i didn't want to say hi just because i thought it was fate. i haven't seen him in 6 years and the first time i see him, he walks right by me in a building full of people, in a place i never go to. how fateful is that? but then again, he never looked up at me and he didn't bump into me. how fateful is that?
5) i didn't want to say hi because, as far as i'm concerned, he's a stranger to me now. if he's changed as much as i have over the last six years, then essentially, i don't know who he is and he doesn't know me either.
6) he didn't look good. not at all.
so, that's it. i think if i hadn't been so shocked about seeing him after all this time, i would've actually called out his friend's name (because i've seen his friend once or twice since the Ex and i broke up and it's always been amiable). a part of me is sad that i didn't say hello. then again, the other part of me is really glad i didn't. i don't know if that makes any sense and i don't know if it's meant to but it makes sense to me.
i'm not 100% sure, but i think i finally have closure. i don't think i need to talk to him to have it; just the sheer fact that i didn't need to run over to him and ask him how he'd been for the past six years says a lot. i think for the next day or so, i might feel a little sad but i think that's just habit more than actual feeling. it's hard to let go of it, the habit, but i think that's what i've been holding onto for so many years. maybe i'm just tired. i think i need to sleep on it and see how i feel tomorrow.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
cement shoes
one of the lawyers in my firm picked up a client from asia on a fraud case. i don't exactly know details but it's a guy who had defrauded a whole bunch of companies and he lives here part time. at one point, no less than four of our lawyers (including the Ninja) were at this crazy woman's beck and call. somehow, i got dragged into it and i billed about five hours of work just yesterday alone trying to get documents prepared for service on this guy and for a court hearing to apply for an injunction. in her e-mails, she says that everyone has lost sleep over this matter because they are afraid the defendant's "goons" will come after them. rumour has it, a relative of someone related to this file was kidnapped and tortured yesterday in hong kong. the joke in the office, at least among the small group of people that have had to deal with this matter, is that one of us is next. BabyMan said to me, "don't be surprised if you're walking down the street tomorrow and get hauled into a van and beaten up." geez, i thought it was dangerous working in criminal law!
the upside? the group of us (the lawyers and paralegals that are working on the file) are doing lunch next week and charging it to the file.
Mon's 23 year old boyfriend of two years stealthily moved out of their apartment while she was at work. and here we thought he was so mature. this happened two weeks ago and she already has a date. my hero! she and A are going to join us for a girls' night out with a bunch of women from the firm - dinner at Sammy J's (not my first choice or even my last choice) and then an evening at the casino (not my first choice or my last choice). but i figure the three of us can go trolling. i haven't done that in so long. it's hard to troll with married women.
our Receptionist and Jax instructed me to wear something low-cut and wear big earrings and lipstick. i responded, "so you want me to whore it up, basically?" i understand that they care about me and want to "find me someone" but i think it will be an embarassing night tomorrow! plus, they don't seem to get what my "type" is and then get mad at me if i say no because he's short, balding and closer to my dad's age than mine. honestly, am i wrong to have standards???
the upside? the group of us (the lawyers and paralegals that are working on the file) are doing lunch next week and charging it to the file.
Mon's 23 year old boyfriend of two years stealthily moved out of their apartment while she was at work. and here we thought he was so mature. this happened two weeks ago and she already has a date. my hero! she and A are going to join us for a girls' night out with a bunch of women from the firm - dinner at Sammy J's (not my first choice or even my last choice) and then an evening at the casino (not my first choice or my last choice). but i figure the three of us can go trolling. i haven't done that in so long. it's hard to troll with married women.
our Receptionist and Jax instructed me to wear something low-cut and wear big earrings and lipstick. i responded, "so you want me to whore it up, basically?" i understand that they care about me and want to "find me someone" but i think it will be an embarassing night tomorrow! plus, they don't seem to get what my "type" is and then get mad at me if i say no because he's short, balding and closer to my dad's age than mine. honestly, am i wrong to have standards???
Monday, March 12, 2007
handouts
i really need to stop complaining about being on a budget in casual conversation. i was just on the phone with a friend of mine and i just mentioned that for me, it's sometimes hard to keep up with my "couple" friends because when we go out, they have two incomes to my one and therefore, can technically afford to go out more than once a month or go to more expensive restaurants or buy more clothes. she immediately invited me over for a home-cooked dinner this sunday. with my other, single girlfriends, they just buy me dinner or pay for my movie and just make up an excuse to pay for whatever it is we're doing ("oh, it's a belated Christmas present" or "oh, i owe you for sending me that really funny joke that cheered me up the other day").
it's just lucky for me i'm so lazy that i don't actually go out all that often. it's looking like i'll be out thursday, friday, saturday and sunday this week (blech!) so i'll have to cut down on how much i spend each outing (although i loathe paying for a salad when i could spend three dollars more and get a burger!).
budgets suck.
it's just lucky for me i'm so lazy that i don't actually go out all that often. it's looking like i'll be out thursday, friday, saturday and sunday this week (blech!) so i'll have to cut down on how much i spend each outing (although i loathe paying for a salad when i could spend three dollars more and get a burger!).
budgets suck.
Friday, March 09, 2007
$$$
on a routine drink night with some friends from school this evening, i discovered that i was the lowest paid paralegal in our group of 10 (or so). statistically, that means that only two other people in my class are making the same or less than me (perhaps this is not mathematically sound but as we know, math is not my strong point). i don't feel particularly bad about this - after all, i never work overtime and i never have to work weekends and my job is pretty low-stress. but at the same time, i know i need to be making more money just to keep myself out of unnecessary debt. and of course, i hate knowing that i don't make as much as everyone else does! not that $2500 more a year makes a huge difference from paycheque to paycheque but still, it's the principle of it all.
herein lies my problem (which has always been my problem): i love where i work. i really like the lawyers i work with and most of the people i work with are great. it's a very low stress environment and, while i don't feel as challenged as i could be, most days i like the pace i go at. so, do i apply for other jobs and risk leaving somewhere i really don't have major issues working at? there was a suggestion this evening that i should look around, get some offers on paper and then use those to up my salary at my current job. i could do that. i would do that. but i would hate to use one firm against the other - really, that's just shooting yourself in the foot if you ever want to leave. the legal community is very small and a sneaky move like that could cost you a position at another firm. i guess i really do have to start thinking about what is best for me now. for whatever reason, i find that very difficult to do sometimes.
herein lies my problem (which has always been my problem): i love where i work. i really like the lawyers i work with and most of the people i work with are great. it's a very low stress environment and, while i don't feel as challenged as i could be, most days i like the pace i go at. so, do i apply for other jobs and risk leaving somewhere i really don't have major issues working at? there was a suggestion this evening that i should look around, get some offers on paper and then use those to up my salary at my current job. i could do that. i would do that. but i would hate to use one firm against the other - really, that's just shooting yourself in the foot if you ever want to leave. the legal community is very small and a sneaky move like that could cost you a position at another firm. i guess i really do have to start thinking about what is best for me now. for whatever reason, i find that very difficult to do sometimes.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
deadbolt
when i was in paralegal school, we studied a case in tort class where women in a neighbourhood in ontario were being terrorized by a man who would climb up balconies in apartments where the sliding door was open, enter the home and rape the woman that lived there. not surprisingly, he was nicknamed "the balcony rapist". he was sent to jail and served 20 years. the big fuss in the news right now is that he's recently been released. first, he selected one city to live in but was quickly chased out by the city's residents. i knew he was coming to my city next, mostly because where i live is an old city that is rebuilding itself after many years of neglect (think the phoenix but before it actually rises out of the ashes). anyway, i thought nothing of it because ... well, again, i had a feeling he was going to pick this city to live in. old buildings, cheap rent, close to public transportation, a lot of low-income residents, etc. unless he was going to move to the DTES, how could i be surprised? i walked into the elevator in my building today and there was a crumpled, handwritten note stuffed into the memo-holder. guess who's moved into the neighbourhood? a block away, to be exact. and not only that but it's the same block that the triple X store is located. talk about stimulation.
what sucks is that summer is coming and i would like to sleep with my windows and sliding door open. it could be possible because i live on the top floor of my building but i also live in a low-rise so with enough determination, you could get to my balcony if you really wanted to.
kind of scary. i walk by the empty parking lot next to the seedy motel he's living in every single day. i know it sounds paranoid but i may have to start taking a different way home now... up the hill! thank goodness daylight savings time is coming up.
then again, there are crazy people all around that we don't even know about. at least we have the heads up on what this guy is capable of.
what sucks is that summer is coming and i would like to sleep with my windows and sliding door open. it could be possible because i live on the top floor of my building but i also live in a low-rise so with enough determination, you could get to my balcony if you really wanted to.
kind of scary. i walk by the empty parking lot next to the seedy motel he's living in every single day. i know it sounds paranoid but i may have to start taking a different way home now... up the hill! thank goodness daylight savings time is coming up.
then again, there are crazy people all around that we don't even know about. at least we have the heads up on what this guy is capable of.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
double take
i volunteered for the Canucks for Kids Fund telethon on thursday night. it was put on by telus so my mom is the one that informed me about it. she volunteered too but i met her at the call centre building where we were going to be taking pledges.
i took the skytrain from work to brentwood since it was walking distance to the building and i didn't want to have to drive if i didn't have to. as i walked through the mall parking lot to get to the building, i noticed this guy walking on the other side of the sidewalk - tall, dark hair, glasses. he was dressed well too. i mean, jeans and runners but he was well put together. i looked once and then i looked twice. he was hot. i could tell that he was younger than me - probably no older than 25 or 26. as we stood on parallel sides of the street, waiting to cross to the other side, we exchanged glances. i thought to myself, "hmm, that's what the Ex would look like if he wore funky glasses."
as we crossed the street, i had to wait to cross one more time so the Lookalike was ahead of me. when i got across the street, i walked to the back of the building, convinced that the Lookalike was gone. instead, i see him on the other end of the parking lot, obviously wondering how to get into the building. at the same time, we both spot people opening a side door and we both head towards it. we get to the door at the same time and he looks at me, smiles this amazing smile and says, "i guess this is the way to get in?" i laugh and say, "i guess we'll find out!" he reaches for the door but, being me, i open it myself. there's a girl standing there who is on her way out. she's clearly too busy checking the Lookalike out so i scoot past her and to the sign-in table. he follows. i give my name and take the stairs for the three flights up. then i duck into the washroom to see what i look like. by the time i'm done, he's gone into the waiting area with the other volunteers.
when we finally are able to go into the training room where the computers are so we can learn the pledge-taking program, i grab a seat closest to the door, strategically leaving one computer station empty beside me. and he takes it. i sit facing the overhead screen; he sits facing me but not looking at me. here's where i think i always end up going wrong: instead of just saying hi and starting up a conversation, i busy myself looking at the screen or reading the information sheet we've been given. he does the same thing. i think it was him that started up the converstation. i think he said, "have you ever done this before?" i said no. and the ball rolled. we introduced ourselves. turns out he's originally from montreal (hence the hint of a french accent) and he moved here a year ago to work for telus. we chat about the inane things you chat about when you don't know someone. then, this other guy walks in - tall, blonde, very cute in a geeky sort of way. we make eye contact too. i'm starting to think i need to volunteer more, especially at telus events.
when we're done "training", we get taking to the call centre room where we'll be taking the pledges. the Lookalike and i walk together. i see my mom waving me down (how embarrassing!) but she's in the pink section and i'm in the yellow. awwwwww.... i stepped outside of my comfort zone and took a seat beside the Lookalike. normally, i would've picked a spot where i could see him but not necessarily be anywhere near him. i dash off to the snack room to get some water and we bump into each other again. it was that kind of night. by the time i get back to my station, the tall blonde is setting up behind me.
short story long, i had a great time. the blonde turns out to be married but he was a lot of fun to talk to. the Lookalike spent most of his time on the intraoffice MSN-messenger type site, presumably chatting with friends. he didn't quite get my sarcasm, although the blonde did. at one point, the Lookalike asked if i was taking the skytrain home and it was looking like we were at least going to walk to the skytrain together but when time came to go, i zipped off to the washroom and when i got back, my mom was standing at the station and the Lookalike was taking off with one of his friends. color me a bit disappointed. i waved goodbye to the blonde, who was still on a call, and he waved a cheery goodbye back. i walked by the Lookalike on my way out, who was surrounded by women but mostly because he was asking a question to one and the others just stood around and stared at him. i wasn't going to wait around like a groupie to say goodbye so while he was talking, i touched his arm and said, "it was nice meeting you." i'm not even sure if he saw who it was who said it but he turned his head slightly and said, "good meeting you too."
and that was it. i didn't really expect anything to come of it. i'm glad i did step outside of the ol' CZ and spend four hours with a really hot guy, joking around, instead of just glancing at him from across the room. i doubt i'll ever see him again, even if i do volunteer at another telus activity. even if i do, he still reminds me of the Ex.
this is the second guy i've been attracted to that is the spitting image of the Ex. i don't know what that means; maybe it means nothing. but it always makes me think about him and what he's doing now. we've been apart longer now than we were ever together and if he's changed as much as i have over the past six years then really, we are strangers again. but that doesn't stop me from thinking about him, every now and then.
i took the skytrain from work to brentwood since it was walking distance to the building and i didn't want to have to drive if i didn't have to. as i walked through the mall parking lot to get to the building, i noticed this guy walking on the other side of the sidewalk - tall, dark hair, glasses. he was dressed well too. i mean, jeans and runners but he was well put together. i looked once and then i looked twice. he was hot. i could tell that he was younger than me - probably no older than 25 or 26. as we stood on parallel sides of the street, waiting to cross to the other side, we exchanged glances. i thought to myself, "hmm, that's what the Ex would look like if he wore funky glasses."
as we crossed the street, i had to wait to cross one more time so the Lookalike was ahead of me. when i got across the street, i walked to the back of the building, convinced that the Lookalike was gone. instead, i see him on the other end of the parking lot, obviously wondering how to get into the building. at the same time, we both spot people opening a side door and we both head towards it. we get to the door at the same time and he looks at me, smiles this amazing smile and says, "i guess this is the way to get in?" i laugh and say, "i guess we'll find out!" he reaches for the door but, being me, i open it myself. there's a girl standing there who is on her way out. she's clearly too busy checking the Lookalike out so i scoot past her and to the sign-in table. he follows. i give my name and take the stairs for the three flights up. then i duck into the washroom to see what i look like. by the time i'm done, he's gone into the waiting area with the other volunteers.
when we finally are able to go into the training room where the computers are so we can learn the pledge-taking program, i grab a seat closest to the door, strategically leaving one computer station empty beside me. and he takes it. i sit facing the overhead screen; he sits facing me but not looking at me. here's where i think i always end up going wrong: instead of just saying hi and starting up a conversation, i busy myself looking at the screen or reading the information sheet we've been given. he does the same thing. i think it was him that started up the converstation. i think he said, "have you ever done this before?" i said no. and the ball rolled. we introduced ourselves. turns out he's originally from montreal (hence the hint of a french accent) and he moved here a year ago to work for telus. we chat about the inane things you chat about when you don't know someone. then, this other guy walks in - tall, blonde, very cute in a geeky sort of way. we make eye contact too. i'm starting to think i need to volunteer more, especially at telus events.
when we're done "training", we get taking to the call centre room where we'll be taking the pledges. the Lookalike and i walk together. i see my mom waving me down (how embarrassing!) but she's in the pink section and i'm in the yellow. awwwwww.... i stepped outside of my comfort zone and took a seat beside the Lookalike. normally, i would've picked a spot where i could see him but not necessarily be anywhere near him. i dash off to the snack room to get some water and we bump into each other again. it was that kind of night. by the time i get back to my station, the tall blonde is setting up behind me.
short story long, i had a great time. the blonde turns out to be married but he was a lot of fun to talk to. the Lookalike spent most of his time on the intraoffice MSN-messenger type site, presumably chatting with friends. he didn't quite get my sarcasm, although the blonde did. at one point, the Lookalike asked if i was taking the skytrain home and it was looking like we were at least going to walk to the skytrain together but when time came to go, i zipped off to the washroom and when i got back, my mom was standing at the station and the Lookalike was taking off with one of his friends. color me a bit disappointed. i waved goodbye to the blonde, who was still on a call, and he waved a cheery goodbye back. i walked by the Lookalike on my way out, who was surrounded by women but mostly because he was asking a question to one and the others just stood around and stared at him. i wasn't going to wait around like a groupie to say goodbye so while he was talking, i touched his arm and said, "it was nice meeting you." i'm not even sure if he saw who it was who said it but he turned his head slightly and said, "good meeting you too."
and that was it. i didn't really expect anything to come of it. i'm glad i did step outside of the ol' CZ and spend four hours with a really hot guy, joking around, instead of just glancing at him from across the room. i doubt i'll ever see him again, even if i do volunteer at another telus activity. even if i do, he still reminds me of the Ex.
this is the second guy i've been attracted to that is the spitting image of the Ex. i don't know what that means; maybe it means nothing. but it always makes me think about him and what he's doing now. we've been apart longer now than we were ever together and if he's changed as much as i have over the past six years then really, we are strangers again. but that doesn't stop me from thinking about him, every now and then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
