mundane

on the way home, i walk by a little neighbourhood fruit and vegetable market. i stopped today and bought cherries, nectarines and plums. i felt so ... i don't know. connected? you know, shopping in the neighbourhood i live in and all that.

i have a coffee date with my Guy Friend tomorrow after work. it feels like we just saw each other but it's been almost a month. three weeks, i guess. miracle by our standards. we barely see each other once a month. i don't know that we have anything new to talk about but what the heck. it'll be nice tomorrow so we can sit in the sun.

the apartment is looking a little better. granted, i should be unpacking and organizing right now instead of blogging or watching TV. one thing at a time :) i cleaned the windows yesterday, finally. looking out of my den window right now, i think i did a pretty crappy job. maybe i should go with vinegar and water next time. actually i tried to clean the soap scum off the shower doors yesterday and was also unsuccessful.

i wish i could dance. i've been hooked on "so you think you can dance" again this year and, regardless of how poorly some people do week-to-week, they're still a hell of a lot better at what they do than i am. i sometimes wonder if i had stuck with ballet whether i would've been any good. like the swimming lessons, tennis lessons, piano lessons, etc., etc., i quit ballet as soon as my parents would let me. lazy kid and of course now, i regret stopping it all. hopefully my own kids will have a bit more foresight. yeah, right :)

i have this unquenchable urge to buy food. not to eat right now but just to have in my fridge and in my cupboard. i hate looking in my fridge and only seeing a loaf of bread, a jug of water and some condiments. it isn't right!

you know, generally speaking, i'm in a good mood all the time. that one day last week, i was in a bear of a mood and i just felt awful. no one noticed i was in a bad mood but man, I didn't want to be around me. i hate feeling that way. i'm at a point in my life where i like feeling happy. when i was younger and full of imagined angst, i think i honestly enjoyed being miserable. granted, it's arguable that i'm still like that, but now it's strictly with crushes. i need to figure out how not to be that way with crushes.

with some trepidation, i am back online dating. perhaps i shouldn't be, just because i do have such reservations but at the same time, i'm ready to start meeting people again. i think i'm at a pretty good place in my life and i have a lot to offer someone in a relationship. in the not-so-back of my mind, i'd like that person to be my OC but at the same time, i am realizing now how very awkward it would be if we dated for awhile and then broke up. or even went out two or three times and then stopped seeing each other. it would be ok if we worked in a big firm and he worked on a separate floor but he prints to the printer that sits on my desk for crying out loud! while i would still really, really like it to happen between us, i know now that it's probably not a good idea. it makes me sad.