GF

i was just re-reading the last blog entry and am trying to remember when i actually wrote it.  it was posted in the new year, but i think i wrote it pre-new years.  so let me update you on what has happened since then.

new years eve, i met him downtown after work (i was still on holidays) and we wandered around looking for a place to have dinner.  we settled on a place in gastown and ordered a dinner consisting of appies (my favorite!).  he had three glasses of wine because we were taking the train back to my place anyway.  dinner was taken at a leisurely pace.  it was really nice, and i was quite relaxed, especially since the only communication i had with him that day was him asking me to buy fruit for the chocolate fondue he wanted to have at midnight.  honestly, the things he comes up with.

we rang in our first new years perfectly - with Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve on the TV, champagne in flutes and chocolate fondue with Kaluha bubbling in the pot.  my first new years' kiss in many a year.

cut to 3:30 a.m. i wake up and he's not beside me but the lights are on in the dining room.  he did say that while NYE was slow on the dating sites, NY day was a different story.  he wasn't kidding.  i heard him clicking away on his laptop, and i drifted back off to sleep.  at 4:30, he woke me up again and asked if he could borrow my car because he had to get home onto a real computer.

cut to 12:30 p.m. on new year's day.  he phones and has just woken up.  the problem on the site has been bandaged for now and we start making plans for the evening.  he relayed a funny story of him stalling my car just as he was pulling up to a roadblock.  he told me he rolled down the window, laughed and said to the officer, "i haven't been drinking - it's just my girlfriend's car!"  GF.  the word hung in the air and i don't think i recall anything else he said after that.

cut to 8:00 p.m. on new year's day.  we're finished dinner and chatting on the couch when he goes in to make a move. i stop him and say, "shouldn't we talk about the elephant in the room?" and he looks around playfully and says, "i don't see an elephant in here..." i push him away and say, "you used the "G" word earlier!" puzzled, I go on: "girlfriend!"  he laughed and said, "you've been thinking about this all day???"

and just like that, it appears i have a boyfriend.  and just like that, 50% of my anxiety falls away from me.  amazing how that works.  i do (FINALLY) bring up the problem of him being "online" and without hesitation, he offers to take his profile down and tells me that he doesn't ever go on anyway.  i beg to differ, citing instances when i'd checked (sporadically, of course) and he'd always had been online the day before or that morning.  he assured me that from a coding point of view, those "last online" times could not be relied upon.  another 10% of my anxiety falls away.

the next day, in the evening, i checked his profile but couldn't - it was gone.  bye bye, 25% of the remaining anxiety!

life has been good.  slow progress still and nothing is set in stone, but what it's been has been good.

domestication

here is a list of things that people normally do on dates that Sam and I have never done in the past 7 months:

• watched TV together
• gone bowling
• sat at a pub to watch a game
• house party with friends
• shot pool
• gone to a movie

yes, friends, Sam and I have finally done the one date-night thing that most people cover on the first or second date.  i think he got the idea of watching it from something i posted on Instagram.  George and I had an exchange about whether either of us had seen "American Hustle" yet and I mentioned that I wanted to see it.  cut to a day later and Sam and I are texting about what we should do on the weekend and he suggested a movie and the first one he suggests? you guessed it.

i often wonder why it took us nearly seven months to do the one activity that most people who are dating do so frequently.  and then i remember why:  pheromones.  gaddam he's irresistible, and this is coming from someone that used to find excuses not to get down and dirty.  i also suspect it is because he doesn't want to fall into the trap of domestication too fast.  after all, we are just "casual", remember?

my theory is that he doesn't like to be physically stationary, and therefore most of our date night activities have included being up and about somehow: art gallery, outdoor markets, cooking together, walking, even shopping.  going to watch a movie or even worse, staying home to watch TV or a movie would basically shove us into a "comfort" zone that maybe he doesn't want to be in.  it's funny because at first, all of our dates were "eating" dates, so we were either at restaurants or at either one of our apartments, cooking for the other.  i used to think that was because he didn't want to be seen in public with me - not so much ashamed of me or to be seen with me, but perhaps he didn't want to run into someone he knew and have to explain who i was.

now that we do most of our dates outside of our respective homes, of course i think he doesn't want to get too cozy and have me think that our relationship has progressed to more than what it actually is.  oh, how the mind works against us, eh?