ire

i have this week off. when i was chatting with Bertrand at after work drinks on friday and mentioned i took this week off, he said, "of course you do. there's a stat holiday right in the middle." it's sweet he remembers my penchant for taking holidays around stat holidays so i get more bang for my buck, so to speak.

my plan this week was to get out and be a tourist in my own town and maybe do a day trip to another town here and there. i was going to see the botanical gardens at UBC, visit the suspension bridge, check out the exhibit at the museum, get a mani/pedi. so far, i went shopping at bellis and that's about it. my secondary plan, should the weather not cooperate, was to finally clean out the den and toss/recycle/donate a bunch of stuff. so far, i've managed to vet my closet, but i've been doing that slowly over the past few months. i took four huge bags of clothes to drop off at the donation bin and i still have a closet and drawers full of stuff.

my den. oh my den. when i look at it, i can see that it's easy enough to just put stuff away where it's supposed to be, or put stuff in storage. i know the desk needs to be cleaned and things need to be thrown away. i've already determined i'm going to donate a lot of my text books (novels) that i've been holding onto so that when i finally have bookshelves, i can line them with books that make me look smarter than i am (they're all paperbacks anyway. that doesn't say smart.). i was even smart enough not to think i'd even get to painting it (i'm hoping that gets done during my two weeks off at Christmas and new years). so what am i doing, blogging about it?

i'm not angry enough to throw anything out. i need to be upset or angry or feel hopeless about something. then i don't hesitate. everything just gets tossed out and i never think about it again (except my old cassette tapes. i just saw something on etsy.com where a girl re-fashions cassette tape cases into business card holders. i could do that for my desk!). right now, i'm feeling good and relaxed which means when i try to clean, i just look at stuff and reminisce. instead of tossing out clothes, i try them on and either think about how the me now measures up (literally and figuratively) to the me when i bought it the first time or i try to think of ways to refashion it so i can use it now. then i start trying on outfits and all of a sudden, three hours have passed and all i've done is parade around in high heels and an array of old clothes that should be donated but "i could still wear". yes, i could still wear it, but why would i when i can just go out and buy new things?

so then i think i should put on some good music to motivate me, but then i spend an hour doing bad mariah carey impressions (think finger to one ear and a waving stop with the other) and re-living my bar star days with the one-person dance party.

as you can tell, i'm procrastinating.