i remember

i remember why i don't like to crush on people (for real) at work. when something adverse happens...anything...i get mopey and miserable.

today, i received confirmation that my Crush is switching offices. not sure when, but it's going to happen. you'd think it was because he somehow ended up in the spare, corner-office. no student or associate should get a corner office. and yet, he's moving to Mon's old office, which is a corner office. just on the opposite corner to me.

it made me wonder whether the move was precipitated by the fact that he's always chatting with me. perhaps the partner that sits near us that often catches us chatting (albeit always about work, because he hasn't figured out how to chat with me about anything else) has caught on that there's a bit of interest on both of our parts. (not convinced about the interest on his part, or perhaps i don't want to get my hopes up). in any event, when i heard about it, i got really sulky. for once, it didn't last long, but it did happen.

i even went so far as to say to him before i left, "so, you're moving??" and he said, "yeah, you didn't know? i don't know when, but Scrooge told me i was moving. he said as much as he liked having me down here, i had to go!" curious.

what this means for me is that i'll have to try harder when it comes to flirting with him. we went out for lunch the other day (because i asked him) and i'm getting more and more comfortable with him, just chatting and teasing him about stuff. i whined at him today (my first whine!) that it felt like i hadn't seen him all day, he'd been so busy.

my worst fear, of course, is that once they hire the new girl (because the new girl has given her notice and so they have to hire a new girl to replace the new girl), they'll end up hiring someone cute and his age and much more forward than i am (it'll be like history repeating itself, over and over again), and they'll end up dating and of course, because it's me, he'll end up marrying her. oy. and i wonder why i've avoided dating for so long.

well, i have some time to work on it. oh wait, i leave for Mexico in four work days! i wonder if he'll miss me while i'm gone. or if i'll have any candy left in my candy dish when i get back. i'm quite certain he's the candy thief, but that's okay with me.

and so it begins. again.