Saturday, December 23, 2006

holy f.

my mom phones me at 9:oo this morning, first on the land line, then on the cell phone. i was still sleeping. when i finally pick up both messages about 30 minutes later, there's a dire tone to her voice. normally, i wouldn't phone her back until i had breakfast and was out of my "morning grump". but i'm afraid something bad's happened. so, i phone her back. she says, "help me! i've started my Christmas baking and i don't have everything i need." so she wants me to borrow a list of things from my dad AND buy some stuff from the store. and she wants me to pick them up and deliver them to her. should i remind you that she lives a block from my dad and i live about 10 minutes walking-distance away?

FUCK YOU! you wake me up because you weren't smart enough to figure out that lemon sugar cookies may require some sort of grating device for the rind? that if you're making a bunch of different kinds of cookies, you may require cookie cooling racks? that if you're making Rolo cookies, you may need the fucking Rolos?

merry fucking christmas. what the fuck. in any event, i just phoned my dad's house and no one's home. hopefully, he'll be out all day. that will teach her to read just what she needs for ingredients and not what she needs for hardware.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

it's beginning to look a lot like...

i did some Christmas shopping today. i was actually intending to go grocery shopping but i got this overwhelming desire to buy more decorations and toys for my two little nieces so i veered away from the direction of save-on and towards winners.

i spent at least an hour and a half looking for toys that weren't useless and didn't put the wrong ideas into the kids' heads. my one niece is 7 (or did she just turn 8? i'm losing track) and the other one is just 2. everything they had for 7 year olds was all that Bratz crap, with the little dolls wearing dark lipstick and whore clothes, driving convertibles and talking on cell phones. no thanks. my niece picked up on the whole "britney spears" thing when she was five or six and the results were disturbing (think of a 6 year old lipsynching to "Baby, One More Time" and crawling around on the floor like some sort of karaoke stripper - can you say 'creepy'?). don't get me wrong - i'm not against buying girly toys for her but not ones that advocate children wearing makeup, high heels and adult-style clothes made in children's sizes. it's arguable that she already does that.

i did end up buying her one of those giant Barbie heads where you can style her hair (brush, clip, braid and what have you). T was talking about buying her 8 year old niece that for Christmas because she was begging for it so i guess it must be something that girls this age like. the other niece, i bought a toy that she would find fun but is also a developmental toy. actually, the back of the box says that some of the skills kids learn are, "hand-eye coordination, grasping, keeping busy and hitting." i thought the last one was hilarious and it was even funnier when i saw the exact same toy by the same company (but with bed bugs instead of mice) but the back of the box conveniently left out the "hitting" reference. anyway, it's a whack-a-mole type of toy so she gets to hit things, maybe get out some baby-aggression, and have some fun at the same time.

for me, i bought another wreath (it was too cute not to buy and it was only $13), which is hanging on my den door on the too-small $2 wreath holder i bought from the dollar store, and a Christmas stocking (although it will be empty when i wake up on Christmas day...). i'm inadvertently creating a "snowman" theme in my apartment as my new wreath has a snow-family sitting on it (all dressed up in scarves and hats - so cute!) and my stocking has a snowman on it. kind of funny for someone who really doesn't like the snow.

i can't believe it's almost Christmas. i'm already thinking about my vacation next year. there are so many things i want to do and it all requires a bit of creative saving and financial restraint on my part. i want to go to mexico in the next four months for a nice, week-long, all-inclusive beach holiday. or, i'd like to use my airmiles and visit my cousin in san francisco. or, i'd like to save up and finally visit my friend in NY (and finally visit NY!). or, i'd like to really save up and meet up with my friend from south africa in two years, although he's thinking of selling his flat and buying a house soon so he may not be able to meet me. in that case, i'd have to really, really save up (money and time off) and meet him in SA. that would be cool. they have beaches there too. or, i'd like to get a dog. but that would keep me in one place for a very long time.

decisions, decisions. oh well, they're easy to make when you're just dreaming :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

you know you want it

so, i'm sitting in the lunchroom and A sits in front of me. after some idle chit chat with the new student, A says, "so, the OC called last night." i said, "oh, yeah." she said, "he was asking about you." i said, "oh? what did he have to say?" and she said, "he was wondering why he hadn't heard from you. so i told him you'd found much more interesting people to spend time with and that he was old news." i smiled. then she told me he was on saltspring.

what a dork he is. maybe if he made some effort to keep in touch with me, i would keep in touch with him.

still no word from my ex-double. maybe he's in a hospital somewhere, battling pneumonia. maybe he's passed out on the floor of his apartment from a high fever. or maybe, as greg would say, he's just not that into you.

i found this fantabulous book at the library today. it's called "historica - 1000 years of our lives and times". it's right up my alley - a thousand years of history condensed into 500 page coffee-table book. i sent it to my brother as a "hint hint" for christmas. hopefully, if the General decides to give me a gift again this year, it's a GC to Chapters and not the Body Shop again. there was also this lovely arthur erickson coffee table book that had his most well-known designs and buildings. i don't care what anyone says - i think his style is great.

things are not going so well with the new girl. i was really hoping she would have caught on by now but she's still having trouble with the computer programs we use. i know i shouldn't expect her to be like me - i fool around on computers and different programs so i know how to navigate my way through things. but she's looking for digital transcription files on Word and she keeps closing her e-mail/document management system when that's the one thing she should always be referring to. i can tell she's knowledgeable with procedural matters but she just doesn't have the hang of the computer yet and that's really the help that's most required. i think i billed a total of 4 hours today because most of my day was spent helping her do things that i had showed her how to do before and that she had written down how to do. it's not even that - she's not using her common sense to figure out problems. let's face it - finding something on the computer is just common sense. today, she called me over to look at an e-mail the General had sent her. the e-mail said to take the changes from the attached document and make them in redline on the document we had on the system. she showed me the e-mail (with the attachment unopened) and said, "i don't understand - i can't see the changes anywhere. where am i supposed to make them and how do i make them red?" she never even thought to open up the attachment or read the entire e-mail to see what the attachment was. i don't know. hopefully, it gets better soon because i'm getting busier.

Monday, December 11, 2006

i don't know

a couple of weeks ago, i received 12 free credits from my dating site to "come back" and put up another profile. so, i did. i used my 12 free credits (actually, i ended up getting a freebie so it was actually 18 credits) but none of the guys ever got in contact with me. figures.

this one guy who didn't send me a smile and didn't try to IM me sent me an e-mail with his backstage pictures and basically just said he liked my profile and would i like to chat sometime. i read his profile (his picture was hidden) and he seemed nice enough, although didn't have the tons and tons of interests that most guys have, which was oddly refreshing. he basically liked going out for dinner to different places and had travelled extensively. at that point, i could've taken it or left it. then, i opened up his backstage pictures. holy F, is he hot. blue, blue eyes, dark curly hair. we'll get back to his looks in just a moment.

i immediately e-mailed him with my MSN contact information and i added him to my list of contacts, even though i'm never online to chat. i hate it; it's a waste of time. you sit there for three hours, typing, when you could easily chat on the phone or meet up for a drink. anyway, i made the exception for him because he's so incredibly good looking...and nice.

we had about three or four very lengthy chats, and each time it was really fun. he had good stories, remembered stuff i told him (although he could've been reading the message history but i'll give him the benefit of the doubt), and we had similar interests in things. he sent me all of this music he thought i would like and that he was into and most of it was really good. a couple of the songs he sent me have made it onto my iPod.

the last time we chatted, he gave me his number and i returned the favour by giving him mine. he had the flu. that was the night of my christmas party. i haven't seen him online since. i sent him a quick e-mail in the middle of last week, just asking him how he was. no response. i plucked up the courage and phoned him on sunday afternoon and left a voicemail. no response. so, he's either dead or he's lost interest. either way, i'm not sure how i feel about it (ok, if he's dead, which i hope he isn't, then i'd be sad for him. but you know what i mean.)

on the one hand, yeah i'm disappointed! we had good chemistry (well, it was over MSN which i don't think is the best way to judge but it's all i have). he's interesting. he's cute. he's funny in that dry, English way (he's a Londoner by birth but lived in the States for his adult life). he was in a very long term relationship but has been out of it for 2 1/2 years (i.e. he's ready...and hence why he's so hot but still single!). he seemed to be really interested in me and getting to know stuff about me. and then, silence. was it because i didn't phone him? he didn't phone me. but then again, he was sick.

on the other hand (and i hate to say this because i want to believe that it was him that i was really interested in), almost everything about him reminded me of my ex. his dark curly hair. the way he smiles in pictures. his sensitive yet no-nonsense approach to conversation (it makes sense to me, ok?). he's even a computer guy for crying out loud! in fact, the other day, i was thinking in my head, "i wonder if he is ever going to call me or e-mail me again," but instead of thinking his name, i thought my ex's name. bad, right? i know.

i'm telling you this now because after a week of not hearing from him or seeing him online, i know that ship has sailed so there is no possibility of "jinxing" it because it's already done. and even if it wasn't, he leaves for london on friday for a three-week visit home. and let's face it, he's here on a work visa. his project is done in february and he said that he's not sure whether he's going to stay on the west coast, although his company offered to pay for his landed immigrant status (he's a British/US citizen). his company has branches in NY and Chicago. he could move back there. why do i bother?

back to the drawing board.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

pavlov

i now know why growing up, i was so miserable. my parents are no fun to be with when they're together. i got a call from the dad this morning, asking if i could drive him and the mother to the insurance place to get his car insurance switched over to his name. i asked him why he needed a ride. it was obvious he didn't want to go with her by himself.

we went to go pick her up and he was in good spirits. the minute we drive up to her building and he sees she's not waiting for us (even though she'd just called and he said we'd leave to pick her up right then), he immediately got irritated. she got in the car and said, "hello" to him. he grunted. i thought, "WTF have i gotten myself into?" i was so cranky the whole trip and it was a total of about 15 minutes. my mom decided to walk home in the rain. not that it was far but i'm sure she didn't want to be anywhere near him. he perked right up after she left.

i cannot believe the two of them survived being married to each other for 30 years. what were they thinking? if they can survive that kind of emotional punishment, they can survive just about anything.

holy F, no wonder i'm happier being alone. i don't ever want to deal with a partner who is anything like either of them. miserable, miserable.

on a happier note, last night, very impromptu, i decided to go to the new west bar association Christmas dinner. i'm not a member nor do i attend meetings but Sam's always on me to come and join them and so last night, i did. i did know a few people there so it wasn't completely uncomfortable and since i haven't been out in awhile, i chatted quite amiably with my table-mates (only two of the eight i actually knew). i only planned to stay for dinner but ended up closing the place down. the dancing was so much fun - as much as last week's dancing was fun, there is something to be said about a DJ that knows the right songs to play to get people to dance. and, he played "Thriller" for me! to top it all off, it was held at the Hart House in Deer Lake Park, which is this beautiful old tudor-style mansion-turned-restaurant. i didn't to see the entire restaurant but what i did see was so quaint and so nice.

a side note - i think there is something going on with Sam and the Ninja. not anything like their previous relationship but it's obvious that feelings are still there (when the DJ played "Dancing Queen", Sam yelled out, "FUCK ABBA!", obviously because the Ninja loves ABBA). she had asked him to get people from the firm to come out to the dinner and asked him to ask me to come but he never mentioned anything and when i confronted him about it later, he said, "oh, are you going to go?" things aren't going as planned with her and her new love so i think she's regressing (is that a word? it looks funny) back to her old one. i'd rather have her be with the Ninja but he's got get his act together.

my dad and i just finished hanging my Christmas lights. they look so nice! actually, my place is starting to come together slowly. of course, it will never look the way i want it to because i would have to get rid of all of my junk before that happened. i wonder if that chest of drawers is still at that little store on columbia. i might check it out tomorrow.

but really, i should buy a dining room table first.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

the season

we had the firm Christmas party last night. the skit was a hit. i was so happy. i mean, you know how i get about creative things like this - i start to get really possessive of my work and i get "uncomfortable" when my cohorts in the execution want to change things once i've gotten everything the way i want it. ok, i'm a bit of a control freak, which is why i don't like to spearhead these sorts of things. a friend of mine was giving me shit for being so secretive, calling me a snob and ridiculous for wanting to keep it secret. i finally said to her in mid-whine, "oh, get over it! you can't always get what you want when you want it. i'm not your husband." that shut her up.

the beginning of the day was rough. Jax had sent out the e-mail to all participants about what they were being asked to do. the General sent her one back that said, "you've got to be kidding me." and A was being such a grump about it. for someone who is always on me to participate and have fun, she certainly wasn't happy about doing the skit. and she's an amateur ballroom dancer anyway but she refused to dance. oy. i had another girl playfully threatening me all day with revenge next year (her dance with one of the partners turned out to be my favorite, although i'm not sure that the traditional chacha has pole dancing in it but it was funny!).

no one really knew what was going to happen when we assembled. we handed out my professional pamphlets, with judges' bios and descriptions of the dance and what to look for, and set up my powerpoint slide show. all in all, the dances were entertaining, the judges' comments were really good, and everyone was laughing. really, that's all i wanted.

then, we got our Christmas gifts from the partners to the staff. last year, we got these beautiful cuff-style silver bracelets with a native animal picture engraved into it. this year, we got $125 gift certificates to Spa Utopia. let's just say, all the women were going crazy. it was a very nice gift!

we went to this little italian restaurant for dinner and dancing. dinner was good but i had a big bowl of pasta for lunch (not intentional - i went out for lunch the day before and left my lunch from home in the fridge) so i wasn't really hungry. but there was a cheesy italian trio playing everything from italian polkas to billie jean. it was so much fun. i danced with the General - i don't think i could've gotten out of it politely but it was fine. i tend to like to lead so it was hard just letting him lead me because surprisingly, he wasn't a strong lead. i've danced with guys who know how to lead and it just makes you want to follow. it was a lot of fun. i hope we go somewhere with dancing next year too.

well, the snow has finally let up, the streets are now safer to drive so i'm heading off to find me some Christmas decorations!